tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80461092024-03-14T01:06:35.085-05:00Silentwaves - thoughts of a now less but still caffeinated mindJoin me as I swim in the high and low tides of life.Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.comBlogger347125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-20363067509430860052021-11-08T20:19:00.004-06:002021-11-08T20:19:45.740-06:00Quote of the day<p> “An empty can makes the loudest noise.”</p><p>What’s mind blowing though, is how the loud noise can actually become the instrument of authority. How amazing is that. </p>Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-88959689758904987612019-11-12T12:54:00.001-06:002019-11-12T12:56:06.814-06:00Make up milestoneA significant thing happened to me last Sunday so I thought I’d write a quick note about it:<br />
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It’s been about a couple of months or more that I’ve stopped wearing make up (the why warrants a whole entry so that’s for next time). Then on Sunday, we were going to our triple birthday celebration so I thought I’d wear a bit so I put on some eyeliner. I was expecting the usual feeling that I’d feel, that I’d feel pretty, but to my surprise, I felt like I looked better without any make up on! Wow. That made me feel good because I’ve achieved what I hoped to: to like my face on it’s natural state and bring back the standard of beauty as being without artificial make ups on.<br />
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There. :)Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-19191310313175515072019-08-12T12:45:00.002-05:002019-08-12T12:45:29.086-05:00Opened an old email accountI opened my old email account and went back through 2008.<br />
<br />
It brought tears in my eyes. Why?<br />
Do I really miss those days? Do I really miss my old self?<br />
<br />
Why would I miss uncertainties?<br />
Why would I miss heartbreaks?<br />
Why would I want to be in a situation where I would always be in a state of mind games?<br />
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I guess it’s the spontaneity, the excitement of being daring.<br />
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I guess it’s the thrill of my younger days, the feeling of being attracted to, of the feeling of being wooed.<br />
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Am I old now? Is mid life really like this?Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-77587762446287218382019-07-15T12:56:00.001-05:002019-07-15T12:57:17.540-05:00Alone with the introvertComing back to reality,<br />
I sit along the river side.<br />
I want to be one with nature,<br />
In rhythm with the swaying leaves,<br />
In song with the chirping birds,<br />
Flowing with the silent waves.<br />
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I wish to be unseen by my own kind.<br />
These are the times I wish to be invisible.<br />
Only to return when my heart desires to,<br />
When I’m ready to grace my audience.<br />
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<br />Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-1164164825867868022019-03-01T16:40:00.002-06:002019-03-01T16:40:58.447-06:00Hot ChocolateHere I am in place where I usually feel relaxed.<br />
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I came here and ordered hot chocolate instead of my usual brewed dark roast coffee. Earlier when this incident happened with a coworker which caused me distress, I went to the office lunchroom to calm my nerves with coffee. But the coffee pot was empty, and I decided to not brew a new one since it was past 2 already and I don’t want to have a chance to waste coffee. It’s probably a blessing, cause coffee would have probably not calmed my nerves down.<br />
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So I headed here with hot chocolate in mind. Chocolates...happiness hormones...come calm me down please. I wish I can learn how to be calm at all times, especially when people make you feel small.Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-57269820247677419732019-01-31T13:03:00.002-06:002019-01-31T13:05:49.670-06:00End of the month as a startI know it’s been ages!<br />
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I’ve just read some of my old posts and oh my goodness, the warmth I feel, the magic...I really need to start writing again. So here I am typing my thumbs off on my mobile phone on my lunch break at work. It’s the end of the first month of the year 2019 and I am marking this as the beginning of (another) attempt to restore my writing self.<br />
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May fate and determination side with me this time.<br />
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Good luck to me!Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-52315947748680535352017-02-27T15:46:00.003-06:002017-02-27T15:46:37.841-06:00MondayLife.<br />
Inspiration.<br />
Friends.<br />
Depth.<br />
Purpose.<br />
Joy.<br />
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I am in search of something I used to have.<br />
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But the subzero winter holds me back from the journey.<br />
<br />
Cold.<br />
Wind.<br />
Fear.<br />
Distance.<br />
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I went shallow because I know what happens in the deep.<br />
But why is it hollow?<br />
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Translation without caffeine: I'd like to go to the library but I feel lazy to walk<br />
a mile outdoors with -15C temperature.Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-41776428489437153002016-07-08T14:58:00.000-05:002016-07-08T16:43:12.034-05:00So what has happened to me?!?<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Two years of silence.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thought I've finally given up this blog? Well, I thought so myself!</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was thinking of starting a new blog actually. But I really didn't want to archive all these great memories from the past stories of my life, so here I am still.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So what has happened to me?!?</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well, let's just say, two years ago I did this:</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S3_AJCr0O7A/V4AE5uqK1xI/AAAAAAAAAAU/8Ms3OGMjYC0-nlOhX4CRvdKzUFcaMkJYwCK4B/s1600/08-07-2016%2B2-01-12%2BPM.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="432" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S3_AJCr0O7A/V4AE5uqK1xI/AAAAAAAAAAU/8Ms3OGMjYC0-nlOhX4CRvdKzUFcaMkJYwCK4B/s640/08-07-2016%2B2-01-12%2BPM.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So from living in the hot Equator, I now live in the cold North.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Quite a change, huh? Oh yeah, baby! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And I'm lovin' it! ;)</span></span>Coffee Fairyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03739056745952595823noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-67702747046061653412014-06-20T01:36:00.001-05:002014-06-21T01:09:58.144-05:00The Perfect CookieI finally found it, the perfect chocolate chip cookie!<div><br></div><div>Pepperidge Farm soft baked dark choco cookie!</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-bsAQH1bl-h4/U6PWUSOpsfI/AAAAAAAABu0/3FHXXBRi5oE/s640/blogger-image-1917485843.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-bsAQH1bl-h4/U6PWUSOpsfI/AAAAAAAABu0/3FHXXBRi5oE/s640/blogger-image-1917485843.jpg"></a></div></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div><div>I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">saw it in the grocery and I just had to try it because it seems to be the cookie I've been looking for, soft and not crispy and very chocolatey. Chips Ahoy used to be like this when I was young so I fell inlove with it but I don't know what happened, now their quality has significantly dropped.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Anyways, going back to my new found love, I tried it today and it is what I have expected! Love love love!</span></div><div><br></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">My sisters who both live in the US told me that they love this brand too. They said that all the Pepperidge Farm products are good so I am sooo excited to try it all ! No wonder my little toddler loves her Goldfish cheddar crackers too. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-XNLkG8U-img/U6PWWmioK4I/AAAAAAAABu8/GeOSUO2aYao/s640/blogger-image-1819533922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-XNLkG8U-img/U6PWWmioK4I/AAAAAAAABu8/GeOSUO2aYao/s640/blogger-image-1819533922.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-67359060293056328112014-04-20T02:27:00.000-05:002014-04-20T02:37:46.252-05:00Mummyfied heart<div style="text-align: justify;">
A couple of hours ago I started reading about the story of a Polish orphaned girl who was searching for her long lost relatives in Singapore for 25 years. Her parents (Polish father and Singaporean mother) were murdered when she was only a toddler in 1990. As soon as the article started to talk about how the neighbours found her at their home in New Jersey after one week of being alone with her dead parents, at 17 months she survived for a week by eating cheerios and drinking water from the toilet bowl...oh my God, I just had to stop reading it, I couldn't take it anymore! It's the same feeling like when I started watching movies where the baby/child was forcedly taken away from their mother. I could not continue watching anymore and my poor hubby has to endure this now because he has to be prepared of my sudden mood change during our movie nights (thankfully this has happened so far only at home while watching movies online, if we were in a cinema I would have walked out). Same thing about this documentary that was recently circulating online about an orphan boy who was taking care of his sick grandmother by himself, I could not even dare start viewing that video. Let's not even start talking about child abuse and molestations, arrrghhh!</div>
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I wasn't like this before, I used to be tougher.</div>
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But eversince I became a mother, I have found it very difficult now to watch/read/hear about children going through hardships. My heart cannot take the intensity of the thought that an innocent child can be into these dark circumstances they do not deserve. They are just children and they should have their beautiful childhood.</div>
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I wish I have magic powers that can protect all children. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-80361028476470235442014-04-17T10:15:00.000-05:002014-04-17T20:51:46.872-05:00Lovin' the library even more<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Today I went to the Central Public library with the little one to check out the children's library called 'My Tree House'. It is apparently the world's first 'green library' for kids, as it was designed and made environmental friendly, plus, it houses children's books which focuses on green themes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">From the awesome entrance, you'd think we were going to an amusement park or playground. I really love the enchanted forest theme.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> Inside the library, at the middle, is a tree house structure made of recycled materials, the leaves are from recycled plastic water bottles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Then they have little chairs and tables. The whole floor is carpeted so you can comfortably sit anywhere to read books. It is really great for kids, so great that it can become a playground indeed. I just don't know how much 'playing' can be tolerated there. There were just a few people today, I suppose because it's a weekday, so it was quiet. My little bunny of course ran around, tried to climb everything and made little shrieks of happiness but no worries, she was not noisy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I also finally got her a library card. I just recently learned that children below 7 years old can actually get one and for Singaporeans and permanent residents, it is for free. Hooray! :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">On a side note, writing down this blog entry made me re-read the one I wrote about <a href="http://silentwaves.blogspot.sg/2007/10/lovin-library-again.html">the first time I went here</a>. That was almost 7 years ago. Back then, I had so much time to read books. Now, well, besides children's books, I can only read magazines and short, non-novel books. Wow, my life has really changed a lot since then! But then again, I look at my daughter and how she loves books and the library and I tell myself, that is definitely from Mummy's genes ;)</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-23539917452105940622014-04-16T04:51:00.001-05:002014-04-17T10:28:02.668-05:00One glass of happiness<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I've just taken my first sip and I feel inlove already hehehe. I love you, Chardonnay :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Once a week I have a "day off" from my little energizer bunny. I am so thankful that I have parents in law who would happily babysit her for a day at their place. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So I have about 12 hours to myself and I could do whatever I want, including doing nothing. But of course, what actually happens during my "day off" is I do house chores in peace, without a toddler clinging on my leg, yes literally. It feels good to have a break from the little one, but as the day goes I do miss her smile. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Then I also spend a significant time watching my favorite TV series online. Then surf the net here and there to find activities to do and places to go with my mini me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I also try to go out of the house from time to time to rejoin civilization in the city, although mostly driven by errands I needed to do. Along the way I do make a little shopping for essential buys, like that much needed shorts and walking shoes. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Then I usually treat myself with a cup of coffee. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But today is different. It's not a cup of black, now it's a glass of white and ahhhhh...this feels great. I think this means white is my new black ;)</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-56313898036205257522013-11-26T03:01:00.001-06:002013-11-26T03:12:47.894-06:00Hello Telephone!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had a little scare today when I saw that my one year old has silently crawled over and sat near my leg with her right palm covering her right ear. My first thought was "something hurts in her ear!?". I asked her what's wrong, she wasn't crying nor did she look like she's in pain, in fact she's got that curious look on her face and that's when I realized that she was actually imitating me! You see, I have just gotten off the phone before that. I seldom use my Iphone for voice calls and I guess it's the first time that my toddler observed me do that.</div>
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Funny that recently I was trying to teach her how to play with the Fisher Price toy telephone, one of the gifts she got on her birthday, and I realized that this toy was obsolete! I mean whoever uses a rotary dial phone anymore in this era?!? No wonder my toddler has no idea what this toy is, her idea of playing with it is to chew the pull string like it's spaghetti, lol.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeoSQTbqEmU/UpRi_O_0TNI/AAAAAAAABq8/DO1ck62O-7Y/s1600/77816-Chatter-Telephone-d-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeoSQTbqEmU/UpRi_O_0TNI/AAAAAAAABq8/DO1ck62O-7Y/s320/77816-Chatter-Telephone-d-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I'm not sure why Fisher Price is still selling this toy. I see that they already have toy smart phones (whoa!) and this is what I probably should get my little one.</div>
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*Pictures taken from <span style="color: #93c47d;"><a href="http://www.fisher-price.com/en_US/Products/FindaProduct/index.html" target="_new">Fisher Price's website</a></span>.</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-17599426396904430142013-11-06T01:12:00.000-06:002013-11-12T01:14:27.707-06:00How to be coolI've been thinking, I want to be cool.<br />
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A cool mom, a cool wife, a cool gal, just a cool person. You know, someone who laughs at her own mistakes, still calm even when everything is in chaos, doesn't feel sour when things don't go as planned, won't snap when getting impatient, will not lose it even when provoked, like that.</div>
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But it's hard to transform into that, because I think in order to be cool, you'll need to off load a lot of emotions which means you might end up becoming indifferent. So I ask myself, would I rather be someone who has no angsts and does not take a stand or someone who fights for what she believes in?</div>
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It's a tricky choice, but as always, the right answer is, balance. It's all about balance. *bow*</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-7759357999533930832013-09-10T02:50:00.004-05:002013-10-09T03:40:33.711-05:00I'm now a SAHM !<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes indeed, I'm now a stay-at-home-mum, finallly! It's been almost a month actually since I officially became one. </div>
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But it hasn't been that long yet so I am still at the adjustment period, trying to establish a sustainable and productive routine. I got sick the first two weeks in fact, I had colds and sore throat and I almost felt like going down with the flu. I joked that it could be my body rejecting being a SAHM. But then again perhaps there's some truth to that. It's my first time to be alone as a full time housewife and mum. During my maternity leave days, I was always with someone, my parents during the first 3 months and my hubby on the 2 months after that. It was already hard work for me back then and now double that.</div>
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Recently I came across the word "bone tired" on an article by a parent and betcha-by-golly-wow, it is indeed the perfect desccription of how I feel! It's physical+mental+emotional exhaustion all into one. But then again, it amazes me how I seem to have the superpower to cope with lack of sleep, feeling "drained" from regularly expressing milk, preparing babyfood, doing the laundry, etc. I think it just comes naturally when you become a mother and I think what keeps us going is this grand inner joy we have in seeing our baby grow, a feeling of profound love no words could describe.</div>
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I would like to write some more, but I think I'll do that another time. My 10-month old is sleeping on my chest as I write this so I better conclude this post before she wakes up from the keyboard clicks.<br>
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xoxo (lol) Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-64861056896713885392013-07-16T05:34:00.001-05:002013-09-10T02:57:30.434-05:00The Makings of a stage parent<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">I didn't think I'd be up to it and neither did I think my hubby would but we actually entered our 8 month old in a baby magazine cover contest!</span></div>
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Well, we just really did it for the fun of it and for the free pictorial. We almost backed out when we saw there was a long queue and we overheard some parents saying they've waited for more than an hour for their turn.</div>
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I wasn't expecting much really. Though we've had so much feedback that our baby is photogenic, she's not the natural model who would smile on cue. Plus consider that she hasn't had her afternoon nap when her turn finally came. She just stared at the camera with sleepy eyes hehe. </div>
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It's funny how actual parenthood changes us. I never imagined being a stage mother before I had a child but look at what I'm doing now. Hehehe. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-88900337430389857082013-06-25T03:24:00.001-05:002013-06-25T05:41:51.973-05:00Make up my mind<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font>I was a late bloomer in terms of makeup. Though I did put on some lip gloss from time</font> <font>to time when I was still in University, it was only when I was about 22 and I started to work</font> <font>that I put on some face powder and a little eye shadow. I was 25 when I finally embraced the </font><font>full ensemble - foundation, blush, mascara, eye color and liner, and made it part of my day to day routine.</font> <br><font>But I've always made my makeup simple. I tried to make it as "thin" and "natural" as much as </font><font>possible because I just want to put on makeup to enhance my looks but not to alter it.</font> <br><font>Also, I do not want to be dependent on makeup. I still would like to be confident</font> <br><font>in my own makeup-less face. My idea is this: if makeup production suddenly stopped or if</font> I <font>got transported to a world without makeup it should</font> <font>not be a problem for me because I would still look "normal" without it, hehehe.</font> You know what I mean ;)<br><br><font>Recently though, I did not put on make up one time and a friend said I looked pale, not knowing</font> <font>that I just did not put on my usual makeup. So that made me think twice about not putting on make up. There are also times when I try not to put on makeup</font> <font>when going out to do an errand like grocery shopping but I sometimes feel insecure so I wish</font> <font>that I won't bump into anybody I know. Hmmm, so I guess I have turned into what I was avoiding not to turn into :/</font><br><br><font>So right now I am trying to "go back to natural". I am trying to get used to not putting on</font> <font>makeup so often and try to look nice naturally. And I have a very good motivation to do this:</font> <font>my baby girl. I try not to put on makeup when I'm with her so I could cuddle and play with her</font> <br><font>without getting worried that I'll contaminate her face and hands (she loves to touch and play with my face)</font> <font>with chemicals. Also, I try to use makeup made of natural ingredients like that of Body shop's...</font><br><br><font>Alright, let's see how this new me goes ;)</font></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-84763399221740859242013-06-24T05:37:00.001-05:002013-06-25T05:40:58.041-05:00Just be fluffyThat's supposed to be my continuous mantra. It makes life easier, lighter and happier. <div>But there are really times when it is really hard to be fluffy, especially when things get frustrating. </div><div>But then again, I really should not take things too seriously. I just need to be just fluffy so everything would just be cool. </div><div><br></div><div>When work gets stressful, when there seems to be a never ending list of house chores, when you encounter rude people, when things are not happening the way I hope it to be, I should just tell myself that these do not mean the end of the world so I should just pause, smell the flowers and see the humorous side of it all. Tomorrow is a brand new day. I just need a new haircut. </div><div><br></div><div>*bow*</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-53574317288867372792013-06-18T05:51:00.001-05:002013-06-18T05:51:29.199-05:00My current food obsessionSince my blog is screaming all negative lately, I thought I'd try writing about something nice that makes me feel good. So today I would like to introduce you to my current food obsession, Korean bibimbap. <div><br><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-swMC_v4XYrA/UcA7rtrJYqI/AAAAAAAABpI/yvPfbGUCbDs/s640/blogger-image-910803447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-swMC_v4XYrA/UcA7rtrJYqI/AAAAAAAABpI/yvPfbGUCbDs/s640/blogger-image-910803447.jpg"></a></div><br><div><br></div><div>I would order this for lunch at least once a week from the food court in my office building. Yummy!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-84472285246918904982013-06-16T14:29:00.001-05:002013-06-16T14:33:47.040-05:00Dr. FrankensteinSo I think there is usually this child in the family that you seem to find cute to just test her assertiveness because she seems sharp, right? <div>I used to wonder when I was a child why my extended family always made me go into lengthy discussions with them about any random topic. I felt like I was always being put into a hot seat all the time. Well, when I grew up, I was told that as a child I had an answer for everything so they thought they would practice and test my sharpness by pretending to always try to disprove what I was saying. They said I'd make a good lawyer. <div><br></div><div>My friends, please, no matter how you think it is cute to see how a child could try her best to prove herself, do not do it. Let the child be just a child. Don't make things complicated for them. Give them the chance to feel confident of themselves and to trust. Otherwise, the repercussions are high. I've been spending decades now trying to rebuild myself and I tell you, it is not easy and as you can most probably already see from this blog, I have relapses. </div><div><br></div><div>Dear God, I am trying my best to become the best model for my daughter but may she grow up to be a better version of me. </div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-61552093539400112552013-06-13T05:48:00.001-05:002013-06-17T22:49:06.779-05:00The price of working in ITJobs in the Information Technology industry is one of the relatively high paying jobs because of the supposed specialized technological skill you need to possess. <div>But you know what, I think people in IT is paid much not really just because of the technological skill but more of the stress that you get in working in this industry. It's been 11 years now (wow! it's been that long now?!?) that I've been in IT and my gosh, the stress is consistent. You really need to have a way to motivate and recharge yourself to keep from burning out. Really. </div><div><br></div><div>On the side note, it is quite an irony that you're supposed to work with the assumption that everyone in the IT department were hired because of their technological knowledge in their field and yet oftentimes you still get asked to give instructions in a for dummies detail. Duh. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-90590963958159410302013-06-10T03:58:00.001-05:002013-06-10T07:32:04.213-05:00Self esteem worth $20I've just lost $20. I remember putting it in my pocket but when I was about to pay I could not find it. I checked my bag and nothing. I must have dropped it. How perfect! Just when I am hoping to at <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">least feel good on a bad day by purchasing some sanity, I've even lost money just like that. As usual, I blame it on the absent minded me, the one who always shows up whenever my self esteem feels trampled on.</span><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">This is the last straw! I am tired, tired of being strong when I am actually not. I am fragile, but I think everyone thinks I am not. In fact, I have the reputation of being the uptight one, the killjoy, the one who pops your bubble, hence, I'm supposed to be the rationale one. Heck, I can't even be allowed to feel any irrational feeling! I'm not supposed to feel jealous, I'm not supposed to feel that I need more appreciation. How come she can be like that, he could be like that and everybody's ok with that but when it's me who acts vulnerable or emotional I'm being immature?</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">Can't they see that I am losing my faith in myself already?</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">Last week, in my baby's routine check up, her paediatrician was so impressed with my baby's big leap of improvement in her gross motor skills over the past two months and said "Mommy did a good job!" I should be happy to hear that right? But guess what, I could not even make myself take credit for that! I am doubting myself. Could it really be me who made her achieve that even if I only spend full time with her two days a week when I'm not at work for the past 2 months?!?</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">I know this is alarming, what I'm feeling. That's why I am going to do something about it. I am going to be selfish. I am going to think of myself for now. I need to heal my self esteem. I am tired of being strong.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">I am weak, I am emotional and I am irrational. And I don't have to explain myself for that.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-29978917518971398702013-06-04T05:19:00.001-05:002013-06-04T05:20:07.256-05:00BreatheIs it actually possible for a fish to drown?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-8475221922323403912013-05-29T00:30:00.001-05:002013-05-29T05:18:51.807-05:00My first mummy postI only co-slept with my baby during her first month. Then the next 2 months she slept in her cot although we placed it just beside our bed so I could easily reach her during the night. She's been sleeping in her own room since she turned 3 months. <div>Last weekend during our short holiday, she slept beside me on the hotel bed. She loved the hotel bed and she slept so peacefully. I could've let her sleep on the baby cot the hotel provided but I decided to make an exception. Besides, it was just for two nights. Thankfully, she didn't seem to have any trouble adjusting back since she's been sleeping as per normal in her room. But it seems like it's me who's having difficulty now -- I'm terribly missing her, at night when she's sleeping and even more when I am at work during the day! :,( Usually, when I rock her and then see that she's already in deep sleep I put her down in her cot but last night I let her sleep longer than usual in my arms. </div><div>*Sigh* I wish I can spend more time with my baby. It is not so easy though to just drop everything and be a stay at home mum. But then again, though it may not be easy, it still could be done indeed. Hmmmm...</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tXlcGJjO7so/UaXU9_xkgaI/AAAAAAAABo0/j-pfjUo2-p8/s640/blogger-image-251782056.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tXlcGJjO7so/UaXU9_xkgaI/AAAAAAAABo0/j-pfjUo2-p8/s640/blogger-image-251782056.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046109.post-38531414685004592352013-05-17T05:48:00.001-05:002013-05-19T21:01:14.204-05:00A picture worth a thousand wrong wordsI had lunch today with my colleagues at The King Louis restaurant and on our way out I saw they had this photo booth where they let you have a picture. And because I was feeling hyper(perhaps because of the big slab of ribs I ate by myself), I pulled 2 of my colleagues to have our picture taken. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-dAHqRH1RExU/UZYK8uzrtGI/AAAAAAAABok/qCAocpkwgxU/s640/blogger-image--946159413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-dAHqRH1RExU/UZYK8uzrtGI/AAAAAAAABok/qCAocpkwgxU/s640/blogger-image--946159413.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>Then the picture was sent to the email I've input there. What I didn't realize before that was that the photobooth was actually sponsored by Carlsberg and pictures are automatically uploaded to their facebook page! </div><div>Nooooooooo!!!</div><div>I wouldn't usually mind this and in fact I've had similar picture uploaded toHeineken's website during my single and clubbing days ;p but this time I have to object because:</div><div><br></div><div>1. It makes it look like I had a beer when in fact I haven't had alcohol since I learned I was pregnant in March last year; </div><div>2. It makes it look like I had a night out but as I've said earlier, this was during lunch time and hubby and I rarely go past 8pm of not being home since we had our baby;</div><div>and most all,</div><div>3. I look like I'm pregnant here er I mean I'm not looking my best here!!! Not fair! Hahahaha. If the camera was lower, you would've actually seen my big bag of breastpump. Then it would have just perfectly made this beer picture all so wrong! Hahahaha</div><div><br></div><div>No, I'm not drunk, just had a big slab of bbq ribs as I've told you :p. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0