Kiss The Cook

There is always a bright side to everything as they say and one of the good thing about being jobless is I get to cook for my hubby. Cooking is one of the things I love to do but which I have been rarely doing since it is quite convenient and cheap to eat out in Singapore (Did you know that I actually wanted to be a chef when I was young?) plus having a husband who cooks really, really well (cooking is his passion), I tend to just leave the cooking to him. But now's the opportunity for me to rekindle my cooking skills. I just love it when hubby gets home with a home cooked meal waiting for him and that look when he eats is very dear and worth all the effort. So far I have been cooking mostly Filipino dishes for him although I did have a try on some Western dishes. Here's some dishes that I have cooked for him:

• Fried Marinated chicken breast with pasta in pesto and mustard sauce
• Fetuccini mushroom carbonara (oh yeah baby ;)
• Pork topping in oyster sauce
• Squid Adobo (hubby's all time favorite)
• Long beans adobo (in Tagalog, Adobong sitaw)
• Menudo (ground pork in soy sauce with carrots, potatoes and raisins)

Haha, I know, it's not a lot. But this does not include those easy to cook things like fried eggs, bacon and canned goods. I am thinking of more dishes to cook, maybe I could even try some of the more complicated Filipino dishes like Kare-kare and embutido. Here's a few that I think I'd do next:

• Sinigang na Hipon
• Pork adobo
• Paksiw na isda
• Pinakbet Tagalog
• Tinolang manok
• Nilagang baka
• Sayote guisado (if i do find a sayote here)
• Pininyahang manok
• Tortang talong
• Munggo guisado
• Okoy

Any suggestions are also welcome :) I did not put the English translations on the above because hubby might be reading this and I don't want to spoil the surprise (Sweetie, if you're reading this, you are not allowed to ask your Pinoy friends for translation, ok? :P

Bloody rejected

The title of this entry is supposed to be "My first blood donation" but then after filling out a very comprehensive form and passing the medical screening, it was discovered that I am a mutant.

Waaah! The nurse could not see my veins on top of my elbows in both of my arms and she said my veins were too close to my bones and it would hurt. She advised me to do some weightlifting to help make my veins surface out.

Well, I shouldn't be that surprised, given that last year and 5 years ago, in different clinics, both nurses also couldn't find my vein and they ended up taking my blood sample from the back of my hand.

I asked the nurse in the blood donation to just get it from the back of my hand. She wouldn't hear of it. I guess it's because it would really hurt and would bruise. My hubby said they injected aneasthetics on his vein before pricking him with the big needle for getting 450ml of blood.

Sigh, so much for my attempt to do a noble deed. I feel so abnormal. But hubby said I should still feel good, because if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have thought of donating blood. He said he'll be donating for the two of us. Awwwww.

To Lighten Up Things

I'm highlighting two sequel movies I've watched lately which I didn't expect that I'd like but surprisingly I enjoyed watching them:

Iron Man 2

I was not expecting much on this movie since I did not at all like Iron Man 1 (it felt like the Iron Man 1 was pointless, the plot could've been squeezed into a half an hour scene). But like it was meant to be for me to watch this, I won two tickets to an advanced screening with free popcorn and drinks! (Thank you, Starhub!)

The movie was super cool! I loved the screenplay and the effects. The actors did great! My only regret is that we got out of the cinema without finishing the credits so we missed the hidden scene. I don't like it when they do that, especially when the credits are too long, we actually waited for a few minutes because we felt there might be somemore scene but we left when the credits seemed to take eternity to finish and the cinema lights were all switched on.

Ip Man 2
I also wasn't expecting much about this movie since I didn't watch Ip Man 1 and I thought I might not be able to understand this sequel. I also thought that this movie might be full of martial arts fight scenes which I don't really fancy watching so I was prepared to sit in the cinema and get bored. Although there was a little bit of curiosity inside me about this, because when Ip Man 1 was shown before, I actually thought it was a movie about internet technology, because I read it as I-P Man (I.P. as in internet protocol). I thought it was something about a man who did something about hacking IP addresses, hehe. Ok, I'm such a geek! :P

Anyway, I guess the trailer just misled me, because the movie had a very good plot about respect and dignity and not at all just a 100 minute exhibition of martial arts. Ip Man was actually a true story about Ip Man, a martial arts teacher and the master and inspiration of Bruce Lee.

Thanks to my hubby for making me watch this. It was a great discovery for me :)

Enough! Just Run Away!

I have had enough sulking! I am not going to let things put me down.
I believe in standing up for your principles even if it does hurt when it is shoved upon your face. I am an upholder of justice and I shall not lose hope. I will focus on the blessings instead.

And I will just run this away. No, I don't mean running away from problems and challenges. What I mean is to run, literally, as in run your legs and have a work out. It's a good stress reliever and a great way to lose excess weight.

Tomorrow shall be a better day.

How Long Would You Stand for your Principles?

Lately, I have been taking stands with regards to my principles. I had been standing firm with what I believe in.

It has not been easy. Especially if it is not bringing you to what you expected to be and worse, it just makes you look so desperate.

Am I expecting too much? Am I just putting myself high up there? Should I just stoop down and compromise what I believe in? Should I just set my expectations low?

I really don't know what's happening right now. I am confused. This is quite a test of patience and faith indeed.

But I should hold on and keep believing that there is a great plan for me.

But Wait, There's More!

Just when I thought that from bad to worse is enough, fate has decided to play a big joke on me and turned things to the worst.

Un-be-lie-vable.

Injustice is served.

Could things get even worse?

Oh Yes.

Fate seemed to have decided to test me even more, maybe read my post yesterday and decided to crash my remaining self-esteem altogether.

Why can't I get used to this? Why?

I feel so disheartened right now although I have this strange feeling that this is another one of those chapters in life that something is to be learned and afterwards it will bear fruits. But for now I have to be strong and resist being overcome by this shadow of gloom.

I should not think too much. I should not complicate life.

I should just be humble and accept things as they are.

Maybe this stepping down could actually be the start of moving up from the middle of a dead end plateau where I had been feeling that I've been stuck at.

I Ask Too Much

Have you ever wished for something but when you got it you were not overjoyed?

It was like finding the last piece to complete the puzzle but when you looked at the puzzle, the picture didn't make sense?

It isn't what I expected it to be. I feel that I just have no choice. I don't have that feeling that it is meant for me. I feel demoted, I am back to square one. I am already predicting all the possible miseries that could happen.

Why I am being like this? I should be thankful to God that He granted me this. It is a blessing. Perhaps the turn of events will eventually make things the way I hoped it would be. Perhaps I should just not expect too much. I should just be content with what was given to me. I should be happy.

Swallowing the Humble Pill for the Bullies

Do you get that feeling that you wished you could've spoken back to someone who has given you a judgemental remark or someone who has accused you of something you didn't do or someone said something to provoke you but the situations were just so trivial that you just shrugged off and ignore it?

For example, today at the mall, a salesperson blocked off my path to offer a beauty product and when I waved my hand off to say no and I continued walking, he just shouted after me "Are you taking care of yourself? I don't think you are." I just continued to walk away but for a split second I thought of walking back to him to tell him he definitely wouldn't get any customers if that's how he sells his products.

Most of the time, I avoid confrontation as much as possible so I just shrug it off. But sometimes I wonder if I should talk back, because I shouldn't let these kind of people get encouraged with their bullying. Besides, if they could hurt my feelings and ego, why can't I give the same back to them, right?

But then again, I always remind myself that if I did talk back to them to crash their ego, then I would not be any better than them and I would just be stooping down to their level of immaturity. So yes, most of the time I just take the humble pill and keep my mouth shut. However, I do believe there should be a balance, especially in times when you are being accused unjustifiably. Like this time in the cinema when this teenager sitting in front of me turned around to tell me to stop kicking on her seat. Well, I got ticked because I wasn't kicking her seat, I was shifting my legs so I had to answer back that I wasn't kicking her seat. These kids should learn how to considerate and be polite when confronting people!

So ok, balance. That's the formula. I hope I'd be able to have the wisdom to assert myself in a mature way in dealing with these little bullies which are big enough to ruin your day.

When You Are Sad

What you'd like to actually have is a listening ear and some assuring words.

Yes, you just need to hear all those cliche words of comfort like everything's going to turn out well, don't worry but just stay positive, it will happen in God's time, etc.

The last thing you want to hear is to be told that you're the one creating your misery even if it may be true.

On a dark 4:30pm

It's raining cats and dogs right now, complete with roaring thunder and flashing lightning.

It's only 4:30pm but it looks like it's 7pm. At least my bougainvillea plants got a shower today, I forgot to water them this morning.

I have just finished spring cleaning the living room, dining room and even the shoe closet. I should be happy with this achievement, as now it feels so nice to have a very clean surrounding. But no ring on my phone today, no important email in my inbox, nothing still that would motivate me to look forward to something.

I feel my positive battery is going low and I am starting to be anxious and restless. I really hate uncertainties, I hate waiting for a dateless time. I feel helpless.

What has happened? Have I jinxed myself?

I need to help myself, I need to reverse this negativity that is starting to consume me. For now just write, enjoy all these free time.

It will happen, missy. There is a great plan.

My dry hair was appreciated! :D

I received an email today from Locks of Love containing a Certificate of Appreciation for my donation. :D

Just a couple of hours earlier, I got a call from my last job telling me that they were giving me almost a month's salary bonus as an appreciation of the contribution I've done for the company during my 11 months placement with them.

Guess which of the two made me really happy?

I'm going to grow my hair long again ;)

Yeah, baby! Drive me crazy!

I passed my Singapore basic driving theory exam in one take last night! woohoo!

I thought it was going to be difficult because I heard that the exam was tricky but you just really have to diligently read and understand the driving handbook from cover to cover (about 60 pages) and you'll be fine ;)

So this morning I was finally able to convert my Philippines driving license to a Singapore driving licence in less than 15 minutes (I love being available to do these kind of stuff on weekdays!) No sweat! (Well except from the humidity, hehehe) ;) Just have to make sure you got all your documents and requirements with you.

Ok, so now I can drive in this island. Let's go!

But wait....I don't have a car! hahahaha :D


***
Helpful link on conversion of foreign license to Singapore licence

Job Interview

It is like a blind date.

You don't know how the ambiance would be, maybe you'll be in a big, cold conference room or a tiny, little space.

You don't know who will be sitting behind the panel to interrogate you.

Maybe the interviewer will be a warm person and then that'll be fantastic, or maybe just oblivious, which is still fine. But if you're running out of luck, you'll find someone who's ready to crash down your self esteem by almost feeling that your CV is literally being stomped at or crumpled into a ball and thrown into a rubbish bin in Mars. This is what we call a disaster date. You can't wait to get out of that interview room and strip your nicely ironed clothes off before you get infected with the Scrooge's virus. I've had a couple of those before and I hope I won't get anymore now that I am job hunting again.

Well, if we want to find the right match, we have to go through all of these, right?

Becoming a bumble bee - again!

Yeah, this is like déja vu, isn't it? It didn't feel like it has been only a year ago though. My being a bumble bee last year lasted for only about 6 weeks and this time I am hoping it would be shorter, given that the market has definitely picked up. If last year I was bold enough to quit my job at the peak of the economic crisis and managed to get a job, I shouldn't be scared this time, right? (Crossing my fingers and hoping I don't jinx myself by saying this!)

Anyhoo, I wanted to write about my musings on career, job and those stuff but that needs some kind of melancholic mood and right now I am in a perky, hyperactive state and I need to take this chance to get me rolling and have a good jumpstart.

And so of course, this means we are going to make a list. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we need that list to keep our sanity and focus and make ourselves feel that our existence still has some good purpose, hehe.

So here it goes:

1) Unpack all those things in the boxes - yup, 4 months since we've moved into our new place and hubby and I still have lots of our things in boxes!!!
2) Write the thank you cards for our wedding - it's never too late to say thanks, right?
3) Lose weight and lose that ugly tummy - no explanation needed, hahaha
4) Print out some wedding pictures and finish the album
5) Finish our wedding blog
6) Write vouches for my travbuddy friends
7) Get the critic award in travbuddy
8) Pass the basic theory driving test and get my Singapore driver license
9) Continue learning French
10) Enrol in flute lessons
11) Play more tennis - and to be maintained post bumble bee days!
12) Organize paper documents
13) Go cycling
14) Try on new make up and outfit styles
15) Swim
16) Learn new recipes
17) Think of themes for house parties
18) Learn one full dance song routine
19) Organize my shoes and wardrobe
20) Think of more environmental measures I can adopt in my lifestyle
21) Make new friends
22) Read more books
23) Print out those souvenir pictures for our souvenir frames
24) Job hunt - I almost forgot to write this! hahaha
25) Pray.

Wish me luck! :)

I need to go around the Philippines more!

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

My Snorkeling Milestone

I am happy and proud to say that I now know how to snorkel without panicking, hehehe. To think that I've almost given up on snorkeling because I thought I just didn't have the ability to breathe thru my mouth. So all I just needed actually was calm waters because those times I've tried snorkeling before, there were some big waves. Thank you calm waters of Honda Bay, Palawan, Philippines! :)

Now that I have proven that I can actually snorkel, maybe I can consider going for diving lessons? Hmmnn...

To you who look down on people from 3rd world countries

With all due respect, I request you that when travelling to a third world country, please do respect the rules and regulations and the people there.

And please, do not get hysterical and demand for local people not to speak in their native language in front of you. When a local who has tried to explain to you many times in perfect English their policies, starts talking to your local travel companion in their local language, it is obviously to ask help to explain to you again because if you did understand their English as you have been shouting in their faces, why did you still keep insisting your point and challenging their system? Duh.

Respect begets respect.

Another Goode Cartoon (but not for Kids)

It seems that hubby and I have this trend now of finding good things to watch during our holiday trips (or maybe we just watch too much TV! hehe). Last weekend, while relaxing in our hotel room in Ha Noi, Vietnam, we found this cartoon called The Goode Family on one of the cable channels (I think StarWorld). It about a "liberal", environmental, family who always try to be politically correct. The mom is the main driver of the principles of this family, some of which are so extreme that they forced their pet dog to be vegetarian like themselves.

I like the unconventional, modern setup and the sarcastic humour of this cartoon which obviously is made to be appreciated by adults only, oops, or rather, for the matured audience (being an adult is not equal to being matured, hehehe).

Here's the episode that we watched and which I found later on was the premier episode of The Goode Family. Enjoy!

Bogambilya

I've got a new obsession: watering our bougainvillea plants.

Yes, even if we live in condominium unit up on a high floor, we are fortunate that the design of our condo has a plant box right outside our living room window. So two weeks ago, I dragged hubby to the plant nursery near our place and we got us two pots of bougainvillea plants with lots of flowers in bloom. Yay! :D I thought that bougainvillea would be the perfect plant to liven up our window as it is not a high maintenance plant and would have a high chance of surviving in my greenthumb-less hands.

I've always had the notion that the bougainvillea plant loves lots of sunshine and less water. So at first we just watered it once a day. When we came back home from our 4 day holiday from Vietnam though, we were sad to see our dear plants wiltering and at the verge of drying up. Almost all the flowers fell and the leaves looked so tired and malnourished.

Well, it wasn't surprising of course, given the Singapore humidity. We were hoping that it would rain on at least one day during the time we were gone but obviously it didn't. And to top it off, the temperature had actually gone up. It was quite easy to forget that the hottest season in Singapore has started since 3 airplane hours away, we were in North Vietnam where the temperature suddenly dropped to 19 degrees celcius.

Anyhow, I thought I'd try watering the plants twice a day now, once in the morning and once in the evening just to see how the plants would take it. And hey! They seemed to like it because now they're back to looking healthy and there's a lot of growing buds now. Weeee! :D

And to finally satisfy my curiousity, I did a quick internet research about bougainvilleas and found out that they indeed love water as much as they love the sun! So now I'm just obsessing with looking at them every now and then when I'm at home to see if the soil is getting dry which means they need to be watered. Then I look at them some more to admire them and yes, sometimes I even talk to them to ask how they are. Hmmmnn, I've not gone crazy, have I? ;p

Rhymeee Timieee

This little fishie's got too many thoughts lately.
One of them is that she thinks she's turning into an auntie.
Because she's starting to lack some sponteinity,
The weighing scale is getting very heavy,
The waistline and tummy are becoming more bulgy.
Even if she is not at all preggy.
Is she losing her individuality?
Has she forgotten how to party?
Or is she just mastering the art of laundry?
Well she's starting to feel that she's ugly.
So something needs to be changed immediately.

Uh-oh, this is a little scary.

That Funny Children's Cartoon with a Phineas

During our quick getaway last weekend at Bintan, Indonesia, my husband and I were about to go out of our room to enjoy the beach when this cartoon on Disney Channel called Phineas and Ferb got me amused so I asked my hubby if we could stay in the room and just finish the episode "The Lake Nose Monster".

I swear that this episode is one the most hilariously funny scripts I've heard and I can totally say that it's almost equivalent to an episode of Friends. Not that this cartoon is for adults, this is a cartoon that is appropriate for kids indeed, but written with such a wit that would appeal to grown ups too. Just do not mispronounce Phineas or for sure it would definitely sound like an adult cartoon, hahaha (it's pronounced Fee-nee-yas, how did you pronounce it first? :P )

There's something we found interestingly bizarre about this cartoon too. Ferb and the Dad have British accents. My husband guessed that Phineas and Ferb could be step brothers. I dismissed this and said probably not because kids' cartoon usually features a "traditional" family set up. But then, after doing some "research" about this cartoon, I found out that my husband is right, Phineas and Ferb are step brothers! Ferb and his dad are from England and Phineas, his mom and sister Candace, are American (and I should move on, evolve and adjust to the new modern day cartoon world, hahaha).

I actually like it how this cartoon used an unconventional family setting to show realism instead of dysfunction. Even the family pet is unconventional (what other cartoon would have a platypus as a pet! haha)

Anyhow, my husband and I enjoyed this cartoon so much that up to now we are still mimmicking some lines we borrowed from it. Makes me consider to subscribe to Disney channel now, hehehe.

(Snap fingers) OK! :P

********

Here's the episode. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Lady Gaya-Gaya***

Inspired by my little sis, I did it too! :D

I got my hair cut and donated it to Locks of Love . I just hope they won't mind my dry hair, hehehe.

Before

Now

The memory of the dry hair :P

***Gaya-gaya - Filipino word meaning "copy cat".

Our Sentence for Today

At lunch today, I took my seat at the eatery and as I was about to take my first spoon of food, the boy of about 7 years old, sitting across me said something to me. I didn't understand it so I asked what he said. He repeated what he said but I still didn't understand it.

Was this boy speaking in another language? It didn't sound English nor Chinese. It sounded more like Russian or German or something non-Asian.

I think I made him repeat what he said for about 5 times until finally my already pressured brain was able to process it:

"Here got people sit"

Four years and a half in this little red dot and yet I am still not fully used to it. Oh well, actually, I think I was more annoyed by the fact that I got bullied by a little boy who made me get up and transfer to another table only to find out that he only had 2 grannys with him. There were two more empty seats. Hmp.

Expected Acceleration?

I don't even know where to start. I am thousands of meters up in the sky, on my way back from a one week work assignment in Taipei to Singapore, my home for a little over 4 years now. I am thinking of writing about what has happened over the past few months - why I haven't been writing and why I may have seemed away from the virtual world. Let's see how far I could go, with less than an hour before touchdown.

I could actually summarize all the reasons into one sentence: I have been busy in love.

But of course I shouldn't stop my explanation with that because I don't want to make it look like I abandoned one of my greatest passions in life (that is, writing), just because I found the man of my dreams and I am building a new life. Yes, it has been a year of changes and adjustments now -- got engaged, got new friends, got a new job, got a new place,and getting a new marital status next month...it all came one after the other, practically changing my lifestyle and up to now I am still trying to catch up. Not that I'm saying it's been tough, because it has been happy, blissfully happy actually, but of course, with those occasional little rocks. Did I think I was not ready for this sudden fast turn of pages in my life? Hmmnn, I didn't think so. Just think about all those years that I had been feeling that void, that loneliness that I was trying hard not to let consume me. I knew things would change when I find the right man and I was anticipating that much.

Now my question is, have the people around me been ready for my change of life? I know they are all happy for me but I know that they had to adjust. I just hope that they understand and that they don't take it against me. When before I was just little miss single unattached supergirl that has lots of spare time, now I have to balance my time to all the roles I have, not forgetting to still have my own alone time. I wish I could extend time, but well, a day remains at 24 hours. But although my priorities have changed, I hope they know that I am still the same person. I still value them very much. And I am trying my best to catch up.

Post wine thoughts

Now I have proven:

That it is possible to consume 750mL of wine in a couple of hours.

That it is very hard to put on eye make-up on eyes which are sore from a lot of crying.

That I have the gift of instinct. Hmmm, should I even say it is a gift? Coz it seems like it only works on detecting the negative. I never win on lucky draws and lottery but I can sense it when somebody is not telling the truth or is up on something fishy. Before, I do try to dismiss it as just maybe paranoia, but I think now I can distinguish the two now.

Fantastic. So I guess I have a sixth sense? Well, but then why am I not seeing ghosts?
On the other hand, I actually find un-dead ghosts, I discover they are actually alive. So please, don't tell me about being haunted by the past. What is dead does not linger.

I wonder why I could not just have the gift of luck. I mean, I have good intentions anyway.

I really don't understand why some people are just plain lucky.

I Love Reader's Digest

Last week, I decided to subscribe to Reader's Digest and I received my first copy in the mail just a few days after (how efficient!) plus the free jewelry gift set which did not look as I have expected (not as nice as it was in the photo, hehe).

I grew up reading this magazine because we lived with my aunt who subscribed to it. I found Reader's Digest easy to read and very interesting. Even at a young age I already enjoyed reading inspirational stories. As I grew older, I noticed this fascination did not fade, and even got stronger, hence my love for motivational reads like that of Paulo Coelho's, Nicholas Sparks', Mitch Albom's and the likes.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a motivational seminar and it triggered something in me that I had put to sleep for a few months so I could go on with a more "normal" and "cool" life. It made me remember what I really want to do with my life, that which would really make me happy. I want to do inspirational things thru writing or thru flowers, or thru whatever I can. It awakened back the introvert in me, oh no, not the introvert who writes technology programs and resolve software problems, but the one who thinks of how to touch person's lives.

Then last week I started reading a book which was a collection of stories from Reader's Digest. I learned there how Reader's Digest was founded by husband and wife, William Roy DeWitt Wallace and Lila Acheson, because they wanted to publish a collection of inspirational stories. This made me fall in love more with this magazine and made me go online that night and purchase that subscription. When I got my first copy, I have been reading it page by page. Even the ads put on the effort to make a little senseful article and not just those commercialized ads we see now usually. I even learned that Reader's Digest doesn't publish tobacco and liquor ads! I really, really heart them! A magazine with principles. My hubby-to-be loved the magazine too.

I wish I could do something like what William and Lila did in Reader's Digest. I want to do something that could make a difference to the world too, something that would give hope and inspiration. You know what I'm thinking of right now? I'm thinking how can I actually make it to Reader's Digest staff...I would really love to be a writer/researcher/reporter for this magazine!

Bad dream + Bad shoes = Bad day

It is one of those bad days when you wake up from a terrible dream, when you try to wear your pants that used to fit your waistline and see that now you have that very ugly belly literally bulging out and it is not because you're pregnant, and as you walk going to work and your feet are killing you, you realize why you've stopped wearing the shoes you decided to wear again today. And as you sit at your office desk, you can't wait for the day to end.

Don't get me wrong. It has been very blissful, life that is.I know it is a bit unfair that I haven't been writing much about the happy times, and yet when I'm sad, here I am suddenly blabbering as much as I can.

But just that sometimes, something happens that reminds you to check if you still have some pride and check if you can still toughen up and live your own life. It is your way of fighting off the insecurities that start to creep up on you on these vulnurable times.

And you feel really, really ugly :(

I need lots of positive energy, big time.

A Lazy Bum in Guam

I am currently in Guam, an island in the Pacific (part of the Marianas group of islands), and which is also a territory of the United States of America. I am here visiting my little sister for a week.

Here are some pics of our adventures so far:

Day 1 - none because I spent the whole day bumming at home, hehehe

Day 2 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617060656099

Day 3 & 4 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617217746076

I am the real winner! :D

This really made my day! Thank you, Capt. Marvel! :D

6AM Thoughts

What could make you wide awake at 4 in the morning and be still so at 6?

A nightmare. A very terrible, terrible nightmare that you never want to happen ever but it felt so real so you get so disoriented.

And a tummyache too. I guess the lychee martini drink for ladies night wasn't as diluted as I thought after all, or maybe it was the tonic water that nailed it...

Whatever.

Blah.

***

Thank God for a sister who lives at the other side of the world who's got an opposite time zone and you could call to talk to at that moment.

The Non-Valid Thoughts

There are times when your insecurities will try to creep in, filling your mind with thoughts that you know you shouldn't have.

Then you start being irrational and unfair. You start asking questions that have no right answers, you start to question the past. You start to ask for more than what you have, when all along you already have all that you need. It makes you want to look for a ghost that isn't dead, but all the while hoping that you wouldn't find it because you wanted it to remain dead.

Then you doubt yourself. You scare yourself with what ifs and why nots. You prepare yourself for a battle with your imagination. You think that time is still not on your side. For now it is but just acceptance -- that sometimes you get a name that is not yours.

But all these shall pass, because you know yourself and because you know that no matter what, you have a good heart.

Becoming a bumble bee

In commemoration (haha, what a use of word!) of my becoming a bum soon, I am listing down the activities that would keep me busy and amused. The general aim is for me to make use of my bumming days to look and feel fabulously beautiful (mwahahaha):

1) Have a haircut
2) Go to the gym until I lose 10 kilos and become super sexy :P
3) Swim regularly
4) Play more tennis
5) Enrol in dance classes
6) Watch movies
7) Spring clean my bedroom and the whole house
8) Do grocery shopping
9) Read back log books
10) Write write write
11) Go to the library
12) Wedding planning and preparation
13) Try out new make up styles
14) Whiten my teeth :D
15) Fix my wardrobe
16) Organize my important paper documents
17) Organize my files in my computer
18) Print out and organize my parents’ travel pictures
19) Catch up with people I miss
20) Re-activate my travbuddy and facebook life
21) Write vouches for my TB friends
22) Upgrade/Update myself on my IT skills (haha, how nerdy!)
23) Learn to bake
24) Job hunt (yeah, of course! I'm not planning to bum forever! :P)
25) Pray

Good luck to me! :P

Wait! I just want to say...

That I'm not retiring Silentwaves! I'm still going to keep this blog alive.

Hummingwaves is meant to complement Silentwaves.

okiedokie? ;)

From Silentwaves to Hummingwaves

Since I am starting a new life, I thought I'd document it by creating a separate blog for it.

Follow my new walk of life on

http://hummingwaves.blogspot.com/

:)

From a cold, cold Paris

The second and one of the most crucial step was accomplished today.

I did it!

Finally!

Whoohoo!

I am going to be a bumble bee!!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Promenade

The first of many steps

was accomplished today!

Let's get ready! ;)

As Capt. Buzz Lightyear says: To infinity and beyond

Cheers to a month,

of laughter and love,

and to forever...

Boracay-Manila escapade: Make it or Break it

We made it! :)

whew! :D

How long is enough time?

Do you ever have this feeling of wondering why you seem to owe everyone an explanation for being happy just because your happiness came in suddenly, unexpectedly?

Although I know my family and friends are happy for me, I still get a little hurt from the occasional doubts here and there, from candid reactions that make me think how some people see me -- easy, impulsive and gullible. I do understand that they are just concerned about me, cautious about me falling for the same pit I seem to be falling into for the past years. Indeed, my track record does not do me justice. Well, I really do not believe that there is something wrong with easily giving my trust, I still believe I should not change myself for that. I think the wrong I did was that I had been too transparent to everyone. I shared every little thing -- I met this guy, I think he's great, I'm happy...then when he turns out to be a jerk, I have to face everyone for that and eat back all of the good things I've said. And just because I was single, each man I go out with, everyone thinks was a potential romantic love. Couldn't a single woman go out with a man as acquaintances or friends? I have my own reasons for hanging out with people and socializing: because I want to have many friends and in some cases because I think this man needs a friend.

I just wish that everyone trust me this time. I did not make a hasty decision. Things happened in a most natural way, and I do believe because it was meant to be. I do understand and appreciate your concerns but really, I do think I'm mature enough. To know someone is not at all just about time, rather, how one is willing to show his real side. You can spend years and decades being with someone but not knowing who he really is. On the other hand, you can spend one magical week with someone sincere and know that you want to spend the rest of your life discovering and loving him more each day.

I tell myself right now that time is not yet on my side. This is all just a matter of time. In a few months, I could look back on this, smile and say, See?

A (Food Safari) Walk to Remember

Thank you, Malvin, for sharing with us a walk of your life in Singapore.

It was indeed very lovely and worth smelling all those Durian (haha :P )

My first new year in Singapore

Was the best! ;)




New year's eve countdown and fireworks was a blast!


And karaoke and wine on new year's day was a smash!


Can't wait to see what's more in store for the rest of the year! woohoo! ;)

The longest 3 and a half hour plane ride

Never have I thought that someday I would feel so much anticipation in going back to Singapore from Manila.

Many times I have said that I will never have a Singaporean boyfriend.

But just one look at the man waiting there for me was enough reason to smile at all the ironies of my life.

Fate indeed has its funny way of twisting things. I love it! ;)

Chasing a volcano

It's unbelievable how one of the most violent and disruptive eruptions could create this amazing beauty, huh?

Mount Pinatubo's crater lake
Zambales, Philippines

Trekking for this paradise was one super great experience! Highly recommended! ;)



***
Read more about the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991 here.

Monkey playing drums

They say that the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach.

I say: the way to a woman's heart is thru laughter.

:)

Today's laughter was brought to you by: Yes Man starring Jim Carrey. Ahhh, I love this guy. ;)

My first Zoukout

Was a fantastic night, with the full moon up, the music, the sand, the fireworks and the company of people you enjoy being with.

****

Zoukout is an annual beach party event in Singapore held sometime during December. It started 3 years ago as a big new year's eve party in Siloso beach in Sentosa Island of Singapore and I guess due its success, they made it a regular event.

I can only offer my prayers

Right now, I don't think there would be any words of consolation that one can offer to two of my good friends who lost their first baby just one week before he was due to see the world.

And so I can only offer my prayers to them, that they may be strong in this faith shaking moment.

I am deeply shocked and sad about this. I myself could not understand why things could be so ironic. And I thought it was actually another one of my answered prayers, because I remember that one time in the cab last year when we talked about their longing to have a child, which for years they had been trying to have. I told them to keep their hope and faith, that in the right time it will happen. I prayed for them, for God to grant them their wish. And what joy I had when I learned a few months later that they were finally expecting a baby...

But there are things which are beyond our comprehension. I still do believe there is a reason for everything, for all our challenges, no matter how faith shaking.

I wish I could give comfort to them. But for right now, I think that the best thing to give are silent prayers.

Blessed be.

Tennis and beer

Ok, I'm gonna try something new -- I am going to write something right now, when I am a bit tipsy from having some beer with my good friends, my tennis buddies Chris, Janine and Sherrie.

So tonight we had our last tennis match for this year. We had been playing doubles for a couple of months now, with Janine and Chris playing together against me and Sherrie. Janine and Chris are a couple from Germany who are here in Singapore for study. Next week they would be going on their holidays in Australia then they'd be back in Singapore and will be here until the end of February next year, and then they return back to Germany. They used to be my neighbors too until they moved out last month. Sherrie is my Singaporean neighbor, whom I play tennis with during our tennis lessons until we decided to play singles on our own once a week and then another day once a week with Chris and Janine.

Anyhoo, going back to beer, so tonight we decided to switch partners. I played with Chris and Sherrie played with Janine. Chris and I won the first round: 6-4. On the second round, it was a tie at 6-6 and we didn't have enough time to do a tie breaker. Then we went to a nearby hawker to have some beer and oh boy, I don't know if it is because it was Tiger beer, or if it was because I have not had beer for about month, or if it was because I was tired from tennis, but I cannot believe that a couple mugs of beer would make me this tipsy. Yikes. I don't even know how I am going to take a shower now. All I want to do is to just lie down on my bed and sleep. But nope, not with my sweaty tennis clothes on so I have to go and get that shower.

Ok, I think so far I am still making sense, right? This would really be interesting to read tomorrow, when I am all sobered up and in my senses. Well, I am not really drunk drunk, just what I said, I'm just tipsy, hehehe. You know, there's this famous Filipino writer in the Philippines, Nick Joaquin, who can write his masterpieces when he is drunk. Maybe I could try to be his female version? hehehe.

Anyways, I just want to say that this was such a good night and I am just so happy to have my tennis buddies, they are such a joy to be with. It is just funny to discover that this is the effect of beer on me after tennis.

That's it.

hehe. :P

Will you take a chance?

On yellow and purple roses that say:

"I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye"?

I need blueberry cheesecake

Right now.

Badly needed.

Please, please, please, I need a blueberry cheesecake.

The Happy Long Weekend

Was brought to you by:

Bellini Grande
McDonald's
Sizzler
TCC
Geylang
Raffles Place
Boat Quay
Harry's
and McDonald's (again)


Yes, let's just be fluffy! woot! ;)

The little black dress

I think there's this little black dress which every woman should have. The one which makes her feel sexy and confident about her look. And I found mine (although it's not so little really) :) Then I also found the perfect belt to match it with and voila! I got the perfect outfit! I wore it to work today and a number of my lady colleagues gave me compliments, they loved my belt most especially. I love it too!

And the great thing about it is that I even got the dress for a good price, quite half the usual price for a dress here.

Dress: Tom & Stephanie department store at West Mall in Bukit Batok, Singapore (S$30)
Belt: Reds boutique at West Mall in Bukit Batok, Singapore (S$49)

(Yeah, the belt is even more expensive than the dress! Haha :P )

Since the belt was already sparkling with glass, the accessories/jewelries shoud not be sparkly too so I just wore pearl stud earrings, I didn't wear any necklace and bracelet.

For the shoes, plain black high heeled sandals were the best match. ;)

Allez! Allez! Allez!

Félicitations à moi! (Congratulations to me!)
Pourqoui? (Why?)
Parce que aujourd'hui, j'ai suivi ma classe française, pour toutes le trois heurs! (Because today, I attended my french class, for all the 3 hours!)
~~~~~~

Yes, I've resumed having my french lessons 6 weeks ago. It was not easy to do it, because I've stopped for months and I had a lot to catch up, (although I did still read all these french emails everyday at work). Plus, the very important factor that it adds to my frustration at work because I feel like it is an extension of my work hours so I've never been that enthusiastic about learning it. Three consecutive hours of lessons one day of each week can be very heavy, I tell you.

Anyhoo, I'm just very glad that I got myself to go to class today. I've actually missed the past two classes already because I was able to find some "good" excuses - I was a bit not feeling well the two weeks ago and last week I just felt like I've had too much of the french for that day and I couldn't take in some more. In my homework, here's what I even wrote down:

Quels sont vos désirs ou vos projets? (What are your desires or projects?)

Je voudrais quitter mon travail et étre écrivaine. (I would like to quit my job and become a writer.)

And I was sooo tempted to skip it again today but then I knew that if I don't attend today's class, I would most probably skip the rest of the remaining 3 lessons altogether. Oh la la! Ce n'est pas acceptable!

So how's my French now? After having completed my elementary French, well, I am happy to say that I can read fairly well. I can write fairly good but which takes A LOT of effort and I still have to remember to put my adjectives in the right gender form and most of all, remember all my verb conjugations! For my listening comprehension and speaking, well they suck! :( I need to improve here big time.

Oh well, the important thing is that I am learning. I may be slow but I will get there!

Allez!

My (oh my gosh I'm really 29 now) birthday!

It's actually my little sister's birthday today. (Happy Birthday sistah!!!) But let me take this opportunity to write about my birthday two weeks ago (haha, hey, this is my blog anyways :P ). I won't let this month end without blogging about it!

My birthday seemed to have been like 5 days long. Started on Friday, the 15th, when I had a big dinner with my very dear friends, Ays, Diovs, and Omar at the airport before I took my flight to the Philippines. The 16th, I met with my Travbuddy Philippines friends, where we had dinner and spent the rest of the night til the wee hours of the morning drinking and talking, talking, talking at Jenn's place. It was fun to hang out with them again and its worth going home at 7am the following day and worth being prejudged again by another taxi driver who couldn't keep his mouth shut from saying a perfectly annoying comment to start a conversation: "Ma'am mukhang galing kayo sa boypren nyo ah" (Ma'am, you seem to have just gotten out from your boyfriend's place). In my mind I gave him one very good uppercut.

Anyhoo, Sunday, was a big buffet lunch of Japanese, Filipino and American dishes with my family at a restaurant. Then dinner and coffee with my bestfriends since highschool: Melanie, Debbie, Maebel and Alison.

On Monday, my actual birthday, most at home almost forgot that it was my birthday, including me! But well I had to remember it because I spent the whole morning renewing my driver's license. And I got greetings thru sms and IMs from friends: from Singapore, from the Philippines, from Ireland (hi miswa Nina!), from Canada, phone calls from my sisters, messages in Facebook, etc. And here's more - I got a very sweet surprise of a dozen pink roses from my chili friends :)

I wish I had more time in the Philippines, I wanted to meet some more good friends (like Mhe, Ate Prime and some friends from highschool) and spend some more time with my family but 3 days will never be enough! :(

Anyhoo, I didn't cry on my flight going back to Singapore the night of my birthday. It was the first time I spent a part of my birthday on the airport and airplane. I arrived at 1am and found a gift on the dining table from my sweet flatmates.

The following day, I was back to work and I wasn't expecting anymore surprises but..first I got a nice bunch of flowers with chocolates and a cute sheep from Boy Libog, who up to now I still don't know who really is. Then another set of beautiful and fragrant flowers from my family in California. In the afternoon, two of my colleagues (my lunch buddies) made a little party in the pantry for me, they brought some very pretty handmade cupcakes (made by another friend of mine and her daughter).

Wow, that's quite a lot to feel so very special, huh? And I have not even mentioned the birthday gifts I got including those heartwarming blog entries of Diovs and Nina.

Ok, I hope I have not forgotten to mention anything else, but if I did, please excuse my short term memory lapse, I'm getting old, heehee :P

Conversations of the day

Morning

chili f: lech na mga lalaki kasi yan e!

chili a: hahaha

chili f: alam mo kung family and friends lang ang kailangan sa buhay, sobrang satisfied na ko

chili a: same here!

chili f: lecheng void lang kasi sa heart, parang may space talaga na naka-reserve sa romantic love na hindi ma-fill ng filial love

chili a: truly

chili f: kaines no?

chili a: sobra. though ako di ko talga hinahanap, may talent ako magrepel ng romantic love eh, di ko alam kung bakit

chili f: ayoko na rin hanapin, pero kumukurot sya ng kusa! hahahaha

chili a: hahaha, may ganun

chili f: may ganun nga, hahaha

chili a: my heart beats the name of *toot*, *toot* pa rin. Walang ibang alam na beat kundi yun

chili f: nye, bakit 2?

chili a: hahaha, oo, i can love both at the same time

chili f: ah kasi yung heartbeat dalawa? hahaha

chili a: korek! hahaha. The thing is, both are just ideas, di na sila totoong taong minamahal ko, idea na lang. hahaha

chili f: hahaha, ang kulet! i have to remember this conversation.

chili a: sana in the coming months, tao na mamahalin ko, di lang yung idea, hihihi

chili f: ako rin!

Noon

frenchbread: Twenty years ago, there were more rules to follow. Today we have less rules but there is more pressure on the individual.

frenchfries: Sometimes, I think it's better to have more rules. More choices can be more confusing...

Afternoon

Annoying Caller: hi, this is blah blah from blah blah blah enterprise...you won a Takashimaya voucher worth $100, just bring your husband to Ngee Ann City..

Annoyed Me: uhm, sorry, who are you calling for?

Annoying Caller: I'm blah blah from blah blah blah enterprise

Annoyed Me: No, I mean, who are you looking for?

Annoying Caller: It's for you, you won a Takashimaya voucher worth $100, just bring your husband to Ngee Ann City.

Annoyed Me: Where did you get my information?

Annoying Caller: We only have your number.

Annoyed Me: Well, you see I'm still single.

Annoying Caller: Are you over 35 years old?

Annoyed Me: No. Your information is wrong.

Annoying Caller: Oh, sorry.

This is creepy

Before going to sleep last night, I read the first few pages of Veronica Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho (I've read this book before).

And last night I dreamt that I was bitten by a snake, which was like a cross breed of a cobra because of its head, and a rattlesnake for its tail. The bite didn't hurt, as only one fang bit my right leg, and the snake almost missed my leg when it attacked.

It took some time before a doctor arrived, but it was like nobody panicked. Then when the doctor finally arrived my right leg started to turn brown and it went up to my right arm, my shoulder and I started to panic. But the doctor told me to calm down and relax and lay down on my back, and like assuring me that everything will be alright. But actually what it really meant was that he knew I was dying as the browning of my body continued to my left side until my whole body was brown and the sound of the voices of doctor and the people around me talking became like a sound like I was inside a box but I could see them, and when I tried to get up, I saw my body laying there, dead. So I became a spirit which separated from my body.

I could not believe it, I didn't want to accept that I was dead, I started to panic but as always I thought that it was just a bad dream and that I would wake up. Thankfully I did wake up and found out it was just a dream. And I don't know why I even wanted to write this down, because it is a very creepy dream! But well maybe it had some deeper meaning? Hmm...oh well.

Learning thru the tummyache method

So today concludes my training where I learned about integration of databases, something which really interested me regardless of the fact that I really needed it right now for my work. This is a good sign, because it means I am still open to learning new things related to information technology even if I know that given a chance (and the same salary!) to shift to a career which is "more human", I would do it in a heartbeat. :P

But you know what, I enjoyed the training mostly because of the experience I had outside the classroom. Our class was actually very small, there was just three of us -- me (Filipino), another trainee (South Indian working in Qatar) and our instructor (Malaysian Chinese). On the first day of training, when lunch break time arrived, I jokingly said to our instructor that lunch break was my favorite part of the training. But what do you know, in the end I would really mean it!

The three of us went together for lunch. Monday was free lunch at Sizzler where we had American food (yummy steak and salad), courtesy of the training company. For Tuesday, we went to a foodcourt where we had Singaporean food - I had char kway teow while the two men had Ban Mian. My Indian classmate wanted to try Singaporean food and so he just ordered the same with our instructor. It was quite amusing to watch my classmate struggle with his chopsticks, but nevertheless I think he enjoyed the experience as much as we enjoyed watching him. And I made quite an impression on our instructor too when I unintentionally stained his shirt and pants with the flying squirts from the prawn from my food when I was peeling it off. I was so embarrassed of course and I thought our instructor would take it against me. But well, on the contrary, I think it even broke the ice, as he was just a nice and cool person, the same with my classmate. On Wednesday's lunch, our instructor suggested that we go to Little India to have some Indian food and also for my classmate to have some tour. I had reservations about this, because to be honest, I am not fond of Indian food. However, I actually enjoyed the lunch at the Southern Indian restaurant we went to because my Indian classmate showed us how to eat the Southern Indian way -- on a banana leaf, you mix the different viands on the rice and eat using your hands-- and I surprisingly ended up eating A LOT! Boy, I was sooo full and I knew I would most probably have a tummyache from all the spices and curry combination. My classmate even had us try some Indian desserts. I really had a great time this day, as I also was able to have a brief tour of Little India, which I have never done before in my 3 years in Singapore. I was quite amazed at how much culture there is in that place. Then indeed, that evening I had a tummyache, but which I didn't regret the reason for obviously. Today, Thursday, my tummy has still not recovered but for lunch we had....Filipino food! I brought them to 7,107 Flavors, a Filipino restaurant where we had a sumptous feast of Filipino food on a very rainy and cold day. We were so full and I was very much glad to know that they enjoyed the Filipino food.

So you see, I went for a training and I learned a lot in the classroom. But even more, unexpectedly, I learned more important things outside the classroom, and that is, that people may come from different places, have different cultures, but in the end, we are all the same -- we all have a tummy for food! :-P

(Ok, well, I hope you get the deeper message of what I meant ;-)

Burrrrp!

Lesson of the day

I was supposed to write something fluffy today, like about my new dress I wore today and which I really liked, or something that makes a little bit of sense (and actually geeky), like how I actually enjoyed doing configurations and integration of databases during my technical training today.

But nooooo, I have to write another ranting instead! Because I was so much irritated that I wanted to scream my lungs out! Why? Because I missed my bus tonight and the next bus was another half an hour later! And all because I made another wrong choice!!!!

But you can say, so what, we're just human and we're allowed to make mistakes from time to time, right? Yes! However, look at this scenario: you think about this great big plan, which you have been thinking about the whole day, even rehersing your move and what you're gonna say over and over in your mind but then it suddenly happens when you least expect it and you just end up making a fool of yourself because you got rattled and did the exact opposite instead! To think that this has happened to me sooo many times already but I can't seem to do it right! Grrrrrrrrr!!!

Haiz...

Please do excuse me, this is just due to so much pride I have that I am making a big deal out of it. Although, really, it just gets into my nerves even if I would not like it to! Arrrggghh!!!

So the lesson of the day is: learn from your previous lessons!!!

Sigh :(

Ok, ok, I'm gonna calm down...breathe in..breathe out..breathe in..breathe out...

woosaaaaaaaaah....

My first MAC :)

And I'm not talking about the computer of course. :P

It's the MAC make up. As I was inspired by two of my girl friends (hi Mhe! :) whom I have personally seen how good they looked wearing MAC eye make up, I bought my first MAC eye shadow at Changi airport two weeks ago on my way to Ho Chi Minh. It costs 29 something SGD, which is about 10% cheaper than if you buy from the stores in Singapore.

I actually wanted the type where the colors were already mixed, however, they did not have it at the store in the airport so I settled for this two tone pink and bronze colors. Anyhow, I wore it yesterday and I am happy because it was subtle enough for day time and just nice for evening. And with a better brush, it would even look nicer for sure. Perhaps I should get myself a MAC brush next? Hmmm... ;)

When fluffyness fades...

You start to think again of those questions that you could not answer.
You start again to be anxious of what will be or what will not be.
Your emotions start climbing to the peak,
And one simple comment would burst your bubble and crash your confidence like a one strong whip.
Then you start to doubt yourself again.

I will shake this off, of course. But first, I blame this all to hormones...
Yes, it's hard being a woman.

Blue windows of the heart

What happens when you are having an emotional day and you watch Nights in Rodanthe?

You get a heart-shattering, nose runnering (if there is such a word like this, hehe), make up smudging, endless sobbing inside the cinema!

My gosh! Good thing I watched it by myself, I was crying continuously and I couldn't help sniffing loudly. It was embarrassing enough to go out of the cinema with sore eyes and a very red nose! And my gulay, I had a hard time re-doing my make up! hehehe.

Anyways, tears aside, I would like to say that I like the movie, Nights in Rodanthe, not because of the storyline (the story was based on the book by Nicholas Sparks, by the way), but rather, how well the visuals like the cinematography, the location and the very good performance of the actors was used to make a usual story become special in its own way. I especially loved the beach house! Inside and out! And the musical scores used were just perfect to supplement the lovely scenes.

Yeah, it's another chick flick which I'm sure the guys will just roll their eyes at, and for sure, who would only be caught watching it because their girlfriend or wife wanted to watch it. Yep, I'm learnin' ;-)

Geez, I'm sleepy again, to think that I just had 12 hours of sleep last night! Too much crying, I guess. :P

~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo taken from the movie's official website: http://nightsinrodanthe.warnerbros.com/