Post wine thoughts

Now I have proven:

That it is possible to consume 750mL of wine in a couple of hours.

That it is very hard to put on eye make-up on eyes which are sore from a lot of crying.

That I have the gift of instinct. Hmmm, should I even say it is a gift? Coz it seems like it only works on detecting the negative. I never win on lucky draws and lottery but I can sense it when somebody is not telling the truth or is up on something fishy. Before, I do try to dismiss it as just maybe paranoia, but I think now I can distinguish the two now.

Fantastic. So I guess I have a sixth sense? Well, but then why am I not seeing ghosts?
On the other hand, I actually find un-dead ghosts, I discover they are actually alive. So please, don't tell me about being haunted by the past. What is dead does not linger.

I wonder why I could not just have the gift of luck. I mean, I have good intentions anyway.

I really don't understand why some people are just plain lucky.

I Love Reader's Digest

Last week, I decided to subscribe to Reader's Digest and I received my first copy in the mail just a few days after (how efficient!) plus the free jewelry gift set which did not look as I have expected (not as nice as it was in the photo, hehe).

I grew up reading this magazine because we lived with my aunt who subscribed to it. I found Reader's Digest easy to read and very interesting. Even at a young age I already enjoyed reading inspirational stories. As I grew older, I noticed this fascination did not fade, and even got stronger, hence my love for motivational reads like that of Paulo Coelho's, Nicholas Sparks', Mitch Albom's and the likes.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a motivational seminar and it triggered something in me that I had put to sleep for a few months so I could go on with a more "normal" and "cool" life. It made me remember what I really want to do with my life, that which would really make me happy. I want to do inspirational things thru writing or thru flowers, or thru whatever I can. It awakened back the introvert in me, oh no, not the introvert who writes technology programs and resolve software problems, but the one who thinks of how to touch person's lives.

Then last week I started reading a book which was a collection of stories from Reader's Digest. I learned there how Reader's Digest was founded by husband and wife, William Roy DeWitt Wallace and Lila Acheson, because they wanted to publish a collection of inspirational stories. This made me fall in love more with this magazine and made me go online that night and purchase that subscription. When I got my first copy, I have been reading it page by page. Even the ads put on the effort to make a little senseful article and not just those commercialized ads we see now usually. I even learned that Reader's Digest doesn't publish tobacco and liquor ads! I really, really heart them! A magazine with principles. My hubby-to-be loved the magazine too.

I wish I could do something like what William and Lila did in Reader's Digest. I want to do something that could make a difference to the world too, something that would give hope and inspiration. You know what I'm thinking of right now? I'm thinking how can I actually make it to Reader's Digest staff...I would really love to be a writer/researcher/reporter for this magazine!

Bad dream + Bad shoes = Bad day

It is one of those bad days when you wake up from a terrible dream, when you try to wear your pants that used to fit your waistline and see that now you have that very ugly belly literally bulging out and it is not because you're pregnant, and as you walk going to work and your feet are killing you, you realize why you've stopped wearing the shoes you decided to wear again today. And as you sit at your office desk, you can't wait for the day to end.

Don't get me wrong. It has been very blissful, life that is.I know it is a bit unfair that I haven't been writing much about the happy times, and yet when I'm sad, here I am suddenly blabbering as much as I can.

But just that sometimes, something happens that reminds you to check if you still have some pride and check if you can still toughen up and live your own life. It is your way of fighting off the insecurities that start to creep up on you on these vulnurable times.

And you feel really, really ugly :(

I need lots of positive energy, big time.

A Lazy Bum in Guam

I am currently in Guam, an island in the Pacific (part of the Marianas group of islands), and which is also a territory of the United States of America. I am here visiting my little sister for a week.

Here are some pics of our adventures so far:

Day 1 - none because I spent the whole day bumming at home, hehehe

Day 2 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617060656099

Day 3 & 4 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617217746076

I am the real winner! :D

This really made my day! Thank you, Capt. Marvel! :D

6AM Thoughts

What could make you wide awake at 4 in the morning and be still so at 6?

A nightmare. A very terrible, terrible nightmare that you never want to happen ever but it felt so real so you get so disoriented.

And a tummyache too. I guess the lychee martini drink for ladies night wasn't as diluted as I thought after all, or maybe it was the tonic water that nailed it...

Whatever.

Blah.

***

Thank God for a sister who lives at the other side of the world who's got an opposite time zone and you could call to talk to at that moment.

The Non-Valid Thoughts

There are times when your insecurities will try to creep in, filling your mind with thoughts that you know you shouldn't have.

Then you start being irrational and unfair. You start asking questions that have no right answers, you start to question the past. You start to ask for more than what you have, when all along you already have all that you need. It makes you want to look for a ghost that isn't dead, but all the while hoping that you wouldn't find it because you wanted it to remain dead.

Then you doubt yourself. You scare yourself with what ifs and why nots. You prepare yourself for a battle with your imagination. You think that time is still not on your side. For now it is but just acceptance -- that sometimes you get a name that is not yours.

But all these shall pass, because you know yourself and because you know that no matter what, you have a good heart.

Becoming a bumble bee

In commemoration (haha, what a use of word!) of my becoming a bum soon, I am listing down the activities that would keep me busy and amused. The general aim is for me to make use of my bumming days to look and feel fabulously beautiful (mwahahaha):

1) Have a haircut
2) Go to the gym until I lose 10 kilos and become super sexy :P
3) Swim regularly
4) Play more tennis
5) Enrol in dance classes
6) Watch movies
7) Spring clean my bedroom and the whole house
8) Do grocery shopping
9) Read back log books
10) Write write write
11) Go to the library
12) Wedding planning and preparation
13) Try out new make up styles
14) Whiten my teeth :D
15) Fix my wardrobe
16) Organize my important paper documents
17) Organize my files in my computer
18) Print out and organize my parents’ travel pictures
19) Catch up with people I miss
20) Re-activate my travbuddy and facebook life
21) Write vouches for my TB friends
22) Upgrade/Update myself on my IT skills (haha, how nerdy!)
23) Learn to bake
24) Job hunt (yeah, of course! I'm not planning to bum forever! :P)
25) Pray

Good luck to me! :P

Wait! I just want to say...

That I'm not retiring Silentwaves! I'm still going to keep this blog alive.

Hummingwaves is meant to complement Silentwaves.

okiedokie? ;)

From Silentwaves to Hummingwaves

Since I am starting a new life, I thought I'd document it by creating a separate blog for it.

Follow my new walk of life on

http://hummingwaves.blogspot.com/

:)

From a cold, cold Paris

The second and one of the most crucial step was accomplished today.

I did it!

Finally!

Whoohoo!

I am going to be a bumble bee!!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Promenade

The first of many steps

was accomplished today!

Let's get ready! ;)

As Capt. Buzz Lightyear says: To infinity and beyond

Cheers to a month,

of laughter and love,

and to forever...

Boracay-Manila escapade: Make it or Break it

We made it! :)

whew! :D

How long is enough time?

Do you ever have this feeling of wondering why you seem to owe everyone an explanation for being happy just because your happiness came in suddenly, unexpectedly?

Although I know my family and friends are happy for me, I still get a little hurt from the occasional doubts here and there, from candid reactions that make me think how some people see me -- easy, impulsive and gullible. I do understand that they are just concerned about me, cautious about me falling for the same pit I seem to be falling into for the past years. Indeed, my track record does not do me justice. Well, I really do not believe that there is something wrong with easily giving my trust, I still believe I should not change myself for that. I think the wrong I did was that I had been too transparent to everyone. I shared every little thing -- I met this guy, I think he's great, I'm happy...then when he turns out to be a jerk, I have to face everyone for that and eat back all of the good things I've said. And just because I was single, each man I go out with, everyone thinks was a potential romantic love. Couldn't a single woman go out with a man as acquaintances or friends? I have my own reasons for hanging out with people and socializing: because I want to have many friends and in some cases because I think this man needs a friend.

I just wish that everyone trust me this time. I did not make a hasty decision. Things happened in a most natural way, and I do believe because it was meant to be. I do understand and appreciate your concerns but really, I do think I'm mature enough. To know someone is not at all just about time, rather, how one is willing to show his real side. You can spend years and decades being with someone but not knowing who he really is. On the other hand, you can spend one magical week with someone sincere and know that you want to spend the rest of your life discovering and loving him more each day.

I tell myself right now that time is not yet on my side. This is all just a matter of time. In a few months, I could look back on this, smile and say, See?

A (Food Safari) Walk to Remember

Thank you, Malvin, for sharing with us a walk of your life in Singapore.

It was indeed very lovely and worth smelling all those Durian (haha :P )

My first new year in Singapore

Was the best! ;)




New year's eve countdown and fireworks was a blast!


And karaoke and wine on new year's day was a smash!


Can't wait to see what's more in store for the rest of the year! woohoo! ;)

The longest 3 and a half hour plane ride

Never have I thought that someday I would feel so much anticipation in going back to Singapore from Manila.

Many times I have said that I will never have a Singaporean boyfriend.

But just one look at the man waiting there for me was enough reason to smile at all the ironies of my life.

Fate indeed has its funny way of twisting things. I love it! ;)

Chasing a volcano

It's unbelievable how one of the most violent and disruptive eruptions could create this amazing beauty, huh?

Mount Pinatubo's crater lake
Zambales, Philippines

Trekking for this paradise was one super great experience! Highly recommended! ;)



***
Read more about the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991 here.

Monkey playing drums

They say that the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach.

I say: the way to a woman's heart is thru laughter.

:)

Today's laughter was brought to you by: Yes Man starring Jim Carrey. Ahhh, I love this guy. ;)