When You Are Sad

What you'd like to actually have is a listening ear and some assuring words.

Yes, you just need to hear all those cliche words of comfort like everything's going to turn out well, don't worry but just stay positive, it will happen in God's time, etc.

The last thing you want to hear is to be told that you're the one creating your misery even if it may be true.

On a dark 4:30pm

It's raining cats and dogs right now, complete with roaring thunder and flashing lightning.

It's only 4:30pm but it looks like it's 7pm. At least my bougainvillea plants got a shower today, I forgot to water them this morning.

I have just finished spring cleaning the living room, dining room and even the shoe closet. I should be happy with this achievement, as now it feels so nice to have a very clean surrounding. But no ring on my phone today, no important email in my inbox, nothing still that would motivate me to look forward to something.

I feel my positive battery is going low and I am starting to be anxious and restless. I really hate uncertainties, I hate waiting for a dateless time. I feel helpless.

What has happened? Have I jinxed myself?

I need to help myself, I need to reverse this negativity that is starting to consume me. For now just write, enjoy all these free time.

It will happen, missy. There is a great plan.

My dry hair was appreciated! :D

I received an email today from Locks of Love containing a Certificate of Appreciation for my donation. :D

Just a couple of hours earlier, I got a call from my last job telling me that they were giving me almost a month's salary bonus as an appreciation of the contribution I've done for the company during my 11 months placement with them.

Guess which of the two made me really happy?

I'm going to grow my hair long again ;)

Yeah, baby! Drive me crazy!

I passed my Singapore basic driving theory exam in one take last night! woohoo!

I thought it was going to be difficult because I heard that the exam was tricky but you just really have to diligently read and understand the driving handbook from cover to cover (about 60 pages) and you'll be fine ;)

So this morning I was finally able to convert my Philippines driving license to a Singapore driving licence in less than 15 minutes (I love being available to do these kind of stuff on weekdays!) No sweat! (Well except from the humidity, hehehe) ;) Just have to make sure you got all your documents and requirements with you.

Ok, so now I can drive in this island. Let's go!

But wait....I don't have a car! hahahaha :D


***
Helpful link on conversion of foreign license to Singapore licence

Job Interview

It is like a blind date.

You don't know how the ambiance would be, maybe you'll be in a big, cold conference room or a tiny, little space.

You don't know who will be sitting behind the panel to interrogate you.

Maybe the interviewer will be a warm person and then that'll be fantastic, or maybe just oblivious, which is still fine. But if you're running out of luck, you'll find someone who's ready to crash down your self esteem by almost feeling that your CV is literally being stomped at or crumpled into a ball and thrown into a rubbish bin in Mars. This is what we call a disaster date. You can't wait to get out of that interview room and strip your nicely ironed clothes off before you get infected with the Scrooge's virus. I've had a couple of those before and I hope I won't get anymore now that I am job hunting again.

Well, if we want to find the right match, we have to go through all of these, right?

Becoming a bumble bee - again!

Yeah, this is like déja vu, isn't it? It didn't feel like it has been only a year ago though. My being a bumble bee last year lasted for only about 6 weeks and this time I am hoping it would be shorter, given that the market has definitely picked up. If last year I was bold enough to quit my job at the peak of the economic crisis and managed to get a job, I shouldn't be scared this time, right? (Crossing my fingers and hoping I don't jinx myself by saying this!)

Anyhoo, I wanted to write about my musings on career, job and those stuff but that needs some kind of melancholic mood and right now I am in a perky, hyperactive state and I need to take this chance to get me rolling and have a good jumpstart.

And so of course, this means we are going to make a list. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we need that list to keep our sanity and focus and make ourselves feel that our existence still has some good purpose, hehe.

So here it goes:

1) Unpack all those things in the boxes - yup, 4 months since we've moved into our new place and hubby and I still have lots of our things in boxes!!!
2) Write the thank you cards for our wedding - it's never too late to say thanks, right?
3) Lose weight and lose that ugly tummy - no explanation needed, hahaha
4) Print out some wedding pictures and finish the album
5) Finish our wedding blog
6) Write vouches for my travbuddy friends
7) Get the critic award in travbuddy
8) Pass the basic theory driving test and get my Singapore driver license
9) Continue learning French
10) Enrol in flute lessons
11) Play more tennis - and to be maintained post bumble bee days!
12) Organize paper documents
13) Go cycling
14) Try on new make up and outfit styles
15) Swim
16) Learn new recipes
17) Think of themes for house parties
18) Learn one full dance song routine
19) Organize my shoes and wardrobe
20) Think of more environmental measures I can adopt in my lifestyle
21) Make new friends
22) Read more books
23) Print out those souvenir pictures for our souvenir frames
24) Job hunt - I almost forgot to write this! hahaha
25) Pray.

Wish me luck! :)

I need to go around the Philippines more!

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

My Snorkeling Milestone

I am happy and proud to say that I now know how to snorkel without panicking, hehehe. To think that I've almost given up on snorkeling because I thought I just didn't have the ability to breathe thru my mouth. So all I just needed actually was calm waters because those times I've tried snorkeling before, there were some big waves. Thank you calm waters of Honda Bay, Palawan, Philippines! :)

Now that I have proven that I can actually snorkel, maybe I can consider going for diving lessons? Hmmnn...

To you who look down on people from 3rd world countries

With all due respect, I request you that when travelling to a third world country, please do respect the rules and regulations and the people there.

And please, do not get hysterical and demand for local people not to speak in their native language in front of you. When a local who has tried to explain to you many times in perfect English their policies, starts talking to your local travel companion in their local language, it is obviously to ask help to explain to you again because if you did understand their English as you have been shouting in their faces, why did you still keep insisting your point and challenging their system? Duh.

Respect begets respect.

Another Goode Cartoon (but not for Kids)

It seems that hubby and I have this trend now of finding good things to watch during our holiday trips (or maybe we just watch too much TV! hehe). Last weekend, while relaxing in our hotel room in Ha Noi, Vietnam, we found this cartoon called The Goode Family on one of the cable channels (I think StarWorld). It about a "liberal", environmental, family who always try to be politically correct. The mom is the main driver of the principles of this family, some of which are so extreme that they forced their pet dog to be vegetarian like themselves.

I like the unconventional, modern setup and the sarcastic humour of this cartoon which obviously is made to be appreciated by adults only, oops, or rather, for the matured audience (being an adult is not equal to being matured, hehehe).

Here's the episode that we watched and which I found later on was the premier episode of The Goode Family. Enjoy!

Bogambilya

I've got a new obsession: watering our bougainvillea plants.

Yes, even if we live in condominium unit up on a high floor, we are fortunate that the design of our condo has a plant box right outside our living room window. So two weeks ago, I dragged hubby to the plant nursery near our place and we got us two pots of bougainvillea plants with lots of flowers in bloom. Yay! :D I thought that bougainvillea would be the perfect plant to liven up our window as it is not a high maintenance plant and would have a high chance of surviving in my greenthumb-less hands.

I've always had the notion that the bougainvillea plant loves lots of sunshine and less water. So at first we just watered it once a day. When we came back home from our 4 day holiday from Vietnam though, we were sad to see our dear plants wiltering and at the verge of drying up. Almost all the flowers fell and the leaves looked so tired and malnourished.

Well, it wasn't surprising of course, given the Singapore humidity. We were hoping that it would rain on at least one day during the time we were gone but obviously it didn't. And to top it off, the temperature had actually gone up. It was quite easy to forget that the hottest season in Singapore has started since 3 airplane hours away, we were in North Vietnam where the temperature suddenly dropped to 19 degrees celcius.

Anyhow, I thought I'd try watering the plants twice a day now, once in the morning and once in the evening just to see how the plants would take it. And hey! They seemed to like it because now they're back to looking healthy and there's a lot of growing buds now. Weeee! :D

And to finally satisfy my curiousity, I did a quick internet research about bougainvilleas and found out that they indeed love water as much as they love the sun! So now I'm just obsessing with looking at them every now and then when I'm at home to see if the soil is getting dry which means they need to be watered. Then I look at them some more to admire them and yes, sometimes I even talk to them to ask how they are. Hmmmnn, I've not gone crazy, have I? ;p

Rhymeee Timieee

This little fishie's got too many thoughts lately.
One of them is that she thinks she's turning into an auntie.
Because she's starting to lack some sponteinity,
The weighing scale is getting very heavy,
The waistline and tummy are becoming more bulgy.
Even if she is not at all preggy.
Is she losing her individuality?
Has she forgotten how to party?
Or is she just mastering the art of laundry?
Well she's starting to feel that she's ugly.
So something needs to be changed immediately.

Uh-oh, this is a little scary.

That Funny Children's Cartoon with a Phineas

During our quick getaway last weekend at Bintan, Indonesia, my husband and I were about to go out of our room to enjoy the beach when this cartoon on Disney Channel called Phineas and Ferb got me amused so I asked my hubby if we could stay in the room and just finish the episode "The Lake Nose Monster".

I swear that this episode is one the most hilariously funny scripts I've heard and I can totally say that it's almost equivalent to an episode of Friends. Not that this cartoon is for adults, this is a cartoon that is appropriate for kids indeed, but written with such a wit that would appeal to grown ups too. Just do not mispronounce Phineas or for sure it would definitely sound like an adult cartoon, hahaha (it's pronounced Fee-nee-yas, how did you pronounce it first? :P )

There's something we found interestingly bizarre about this cartoon too. Ferb and the Dad have British accents. My husband guessed that Phineas and Ferb could be step brothers. I dismissed this and said probably not because kids' cartoon usually features a "traditional" family set up. But then, after doing some "research" about this cartoon, I found out that my husband is right, Phineas and Ferb are step brothers! Ferb and his dad are from England and Phineas, his mom and sister Candace, are American (and I should move on, evolve and adjust to the new modern day cartoon world, hahaha).

I actually like it how this cartoon used an unconventional family setting to show realism instead of dysfunction. Even the family pet is unconventional (what other cartoon would have a platypus as a pet! haha)

Anyhow, my husband and I enjoyed this cartoon so much that up to now we are still mimmicking some lines we borrowed from it. Makes me consider to subscribe to Disney channel now, hehehe.

(Snap fingers) OK! :P

********

Here's the episode. Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Lady Gaya-Gaya***

Inspired by my little sis, I did it too! :D

I got my hair cut and donated it to Locks of Love . I just hope they won't mind my dry hair, hehehe.

Before

Now

The memory of the dry hair :P

***Gaya-gaya - Filipino word meaning "copy cat".

Our Sentence for Today

At lunch today, I took my seat at the eatery and as I was about to take my first spoon of food, the boy of about 7 years old, sitting across me said something to me. I didn't understand it so I asked what he said. He repeated what he said but I still didn't understand it.

Was this boy speaking in another language? It didn't sound English nor Chinese. It sounded more like Russian or German or something non-Asian.

I think I made him repeat what he said for about 5 times until finally my already pressured brain was able to process it:

"Here got people sit"

Four years and a half in this little red dot and yet I am still not fully used to it. Oh well, actually, I think I was more annoyed by the fact that I got bullied by a little boy who made me get up and transfer to another table only to find out that he only had 2 grannys with him. There were two more empty seats. Hmp.

Expected Acceleration?

I don't even know where to start. I am thousands of meters up in the sky, on my way back from a one week work assignment in Taipei to Singapore, my home for a little over 4 years now. I am thinking of writing about what has happened over the past few months - why I haven't been writing and why I may have seemed away from the virtual world. Let's see how far I could go, with less than an hour before touchdown.

I could actually summarize all the reasons into one sentence: I have been busy in love.

But of course I shouldn't stop my explanation with that because I don't want to make it look like I abandoned one of my greatest passions in life (that is, writing), just because I found the man of my dreams and I am building a new life. Yes, it has been a year of changes and adjustments now -- got engaged, got new friends, got a new job, got a new place,and getting a new marital status next month...it all came one after the other, practically changing my lifestyle and up to now I am still trying to catch up. Not that I'm saying it's been tough, because it has been happy, blissfully happy actually, but of course, with those occasional little rocks. Did I think I was not ready for this sudden fast turn of pages in my life? Hmmnn, I didn't think so. Just think about all those years that I had been feeling that void, that loneliness that I was trying hard not to let consume me. I knew things would change when I find the right man and I was anticipating that much.

Now my question is, have the people around me been ready for my change of life? I know they are all happy for me but I know that they had to adjust. I just hope that they understand and that they don't take it against me. When before I was just little miss single unattached supergirl that has lots of spare time, now I have to balance my time to all the roles I have, not forgetting to still have my own alone time. I wish I could extend time, but well, a day remains at 24 hours. But although my priorities have changed, I hope they know that I am still the same person. I still value them very much. And I am trying my best to catch up.

Post wine thoughts

Now I have proven:

That it is possible to consume 750mL of wine in a couple of hours.

That it is very hard to put on eye make-up on eyes which are sore from a lot of crying.

That I have the gift of instinct. Hmmm, should I even say it is a gift? Coz it seems like it only works on detecting the negative. I never win on lucky draws and lottery but I can sense it when somebody is not telling the truth or is up on something fishy. Before, I do try to dismiss it as just maybe paranoia, but I think now I can distinguish the two now.

Fantastic. So I guess I have a sixth sense? Well, but then why am I not seeing ghosts?
On the other hand, I actually find un-dead ghosts, I discover they are actually alive. So please, don't tell me about being haunted by the past. What is dead does not linger.

I wonder why I could not just have the gift of luck. I mean, I have good intentions anyway.

I really don't understand why some people are just plain lucky.

I Love Reader's Digest

Last week, I decided to subscribe to Reader's Digest and I received my first copy in the mail just a few days after (how efficient!) plus the free jewelry gift set which did not look as I have expected (not as nice as it was in the photo, hehe).

I grew up reading this magazine because we lived with my aunt who subscribed to it. I found Reader's Digest easy to read and very interesting. Even at a young age I already enjoyed reading inspirational stories. As I grew older, I noticed this fascination did not fade, and even got stronger, hence my love for motivational reads like that of Paulo Coelho's, Nicholas Sparks', Mitch Albom's and the likes.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a motivational seminar and it triggered something in me that I had put to sleep for a few months so I could go on with a more "normal" and "cool" life. It made me remember what I really want to do with my life, that which would really make me happy. I want to do inspirational things thru writing or thru flowers, or thru whatever I can. It awakened back the introvert in me, oh no, not the introvert who writes technology programs and resolve software problems, but the one who thinks of how to touch person's lives.

Then last week I started reading a book which was a collection of stories from Reader's Digest. I learned there how Reader's Digest was founded by husband and wife, William Roy DeWitt Wallace and Lila Acheson, because they wanted to publish a collection of inspirational stories. This made me fall in love more with this magazine and made me go online that night and purchase that subscription. When I got my first copy, I have been reading it page by page. Even the ads put on the effort to make a little senseful article and not just those commercialized ads we see now usually. I even learned that Reader's Digest doesn't publish tobacco and liquor ads! I really, really heart them! A magazine with principles. My hubby-to-be loved the magazine too.

I wish I could do something like what William and Lila did in Reader's Digest. I want to do something that could make a difference to the world too, something that would give hope and inspiration. You know what I'm thinking of right now? I'm thinking how can I actually make it to Reader's Digest staff...I would really love to be a writer/researcher/reporter for this magazine!

Bad dream + Bad shoes = Bad day

It is one of those bad days when you wake up from a terrible dream, when you try to wear your pants that used to fit your waistline and see that now you have that very ugly belly literally bulging out and it is not because you're pregnant, and as you walk going to work and your feet are killing you, you realize why you've stopped wearing the shoes you decided to wear again today. And as you sit at your office desk, you can't wait for the day to end.

Don't get me wrong. It has been very blissful, life that is.I know it is a bit unfair that I haven't been writing much about the happy times, and yet when I'm sad, here I am suddenly blabbering as much as I can.

But just that sometimes, something happens that reminds you to check if you still have some pride and check if you can still toughen up and live your own life. It is your way of fighting off the insecurities that start to creep up on you on these vulnurable times.

And you feel really, really ugly :(

I need lots of positive energy, big time.

A Lazy Bum in Guam

I am currently in Guam, an island in the Pacific (part of the Marianas group of islands), and which is also a territory of the United States of America. I am here visiting my little sister for a week.

Here are some pics of our adventures so far:

Day 1 - none because I spent the whole day bumming at home, hehehe

Day 2 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617060656099

Day 3 & 4 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617217746076