Love in Animation

Oh my God, I'm in love!!!

I fell in love with him from the very start I met him and I fell in love with him more when I got to know him better. I had a boyfriend then, it was actually my boyfriend who introduced him to me, but my boyfriend then didn't know I fell in love with this man.

But I stopped seeing him when my life started to get busy with figuring out how to pass my major subjects in College, then I started to work after college, then my boyfriend and I broke up, I focused on my career, I had another boyfriend who turned out to be a major ego and heart breaker and then left my home country last year to focus on career again. I never thought that seeing him again would bring back the feelings I had for him like the time I was so in love with him.

I am so thankful that after one tiring day last week, as I sat there flicking on the TV remote, I saw his familiar face...

Meet the man of my dreams...the emperor Hotohori

Isn't he gorgeous? Gosh, I was just influenced by my boyfriend then to watch these Animes and I particularly got hooked in watching Fushigi Yuugi (translated in English as Curious Play).
I think it was school vacation on my college junior year that I started watching it so when school resumed I remember it was showing at around 7:30am each weekday and I could not watch at that time since I had to be on my way at this time to school to get to my 8:30am class so I asked our maid to record the episodes in VHS tape!

hahaha, yeah, I was that addicted. I envy the lead character there, her name was Miyaka, who was a student who together with her bestfriend, was absorbed and trapped in a book they found in the school library. So when they got inside the book they became part of a story and met all the characters where so much love triangle stories revolved unto. I was so much wishing then that I could be the one absorbed by the book and meet Hotohori so he wouldn't get heartbroken for having lost Miyaka to Tamahome, he could have me all for himself, hahaha.

So if I were in anime' , I wonder how I would look like? Which reminded me that my schoolmate in highschool, Abel, gave this as a birthday gift to me 10 years ago...

That's me in anime' form wearing my highschool uniform, hehehe. So cool eh? =P

How do I look? =)

I was really touched about that gift and I was indeed a fan of his drawings that aside from that drawing I asked a number more of drawings from him and up to now I still have them with me. And it's amazing that after 10 years when I had a chat with Abel on Yahoo Messenger just this week I was at last been able to know what the Japanese character beside my portrait meant. I thought it was my name but he said what was written there meant "Michiko Aino", a character inspired by me from a story he was writing then. Gosh, I was so flattered to learn that he made me a character in one of his stories, I am so honored. He was actually surprised I've kept this drawing all these years. But why wouldn't I? It's one of the best gifts to me that I will cherish forever (thank you so much, Abel ! ). ;-)

Picture these

There are two pictures that has disturbed me today and though I would like to talk about them I am not posting them here, nope nope nope, too disturbing for me, sowee. =S

The first one was a picture of an accident in Ayala Avenue in Makati City (which they said happened last Monday, March 13). A man was hit and killed by a passenger bus.

Picture this: A dead guy lying on the street, face literally flat sideways, and his brain literally popped out from his skull and laid a foot away from his head.

It was enough for me to almost barf out and lose my apetite, I had a hard time trying to convince myself to eat lunch (thanks to Omar for sending me that pic, arrrgh =/ ).

The second picture was something that I got from a discussion with Mhean and Maia, my collegues and lunch buddies. They told me about this picture that won pulitzer prize.

Picture this: A famine stricken child from Sudan who was crawling her way to a United Nations food camp and behind her was a vulture that seems to be waiting for the child to die so it could eat it.

Creepy!!!

OK, here's a link, you be the judge--> http://www.huaren.com/UnitedNations/photo-1.htm

It really disturbed me how the photographer was able to take that photo and even get credit for it. He did not at all help the poor child. Anyway, I think the photographer realized it too, as he commited suicide three months later, apparently, from depression.

But I still remember the ultimate picture, well, actually it was a video, that has disturbed me big time. It was the video footage of the killing of a Korean hostage of an Iraqi terrorist group. It showed how the hostage was beheaded using a medium sized knife slowly but sharp enough to slit through his whole neck! It was too much! Beheading using one quick slash (like if a samurai or sword is used) is already disturbing but seeing one get beheaded in a slow manner is just purely unexplainable! I could not imagine how those men could take what they were doing!!! I think for one whole day I could not take my mind off the video, it was like playing in my mind over and over again. Arrrghhh!!! =/

Gosh, I should stop here before I get permanently disturbed.

Erase, erase, erase.

How do you talk to your angel?

I love Paulo Coelho's writing. Each of his books never fail to give me this extraordinary feeling of serenity, and yet the irony to that is I feel this calm with such a great impact in different ways. I can't even explain why it seems that the timing of me reading a particular book, the book's theme coincides in some way with my life.Therefore I can't help but see his books as God's way of consoling me.

Among his books though, at this point The Valkyries would be the book which won the majority of my heart now. Having read four of Paulo Coelho's books before this, I did expect that the book would have the same serene, calming tone common to all of Mr. Coelho's writing but other than that I was not expecting it will surpass the impact that Eleven Minutes has given me.

I started reading The Valkyries on the 27th of January this year. Just from reading the title page, it has already captured my heart as promised as it was about the quest in finding your angel. I read on, without expectations. At page 40 though, I could not help my heart to jolt a little and melt with a smile as I look up, up and away. It was an extraordinary moment with my usual drink at my usual place -- fruit punch at Starbucks Raffles City. I didn't finish the book in one sitting, moreso, it even took me quite some time to read it as the succeeding days and weeks I had a lot of things going on during those times and so like my usual, I brought the book with me always in my bag wherever I went, with the intention of reading thru it bit by bit whenever I got the chance -- while taking a long bus or train ride or while waiting for a friend I was meeting up. So I read on bit by bit every now and then but it was when I was around half way thru the book that I got a long lag from reading it. It was around the second week of February that I think my fellow bookworm friend made a comment about the book. She asked me if I had finished reading it and when I said I have not, she told me to get back to her and tell her my thoughts about it after I finish reading it. It seemed like she didn't like how the book concluded.

So after then I started to have expectations on the book, I expected it would have an ending with an effect of something like that of By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept because we both agreed that we found that book's conclusion too hazy. It made me curious so that motivated me to finish reading it soon. So I continued to bring the book with me everday, wherever I went, like it was a necessity like my wallet that I could not leave behind when I went out, in the hope that I could read thru it during my free time. I wonder though why I have not devoted a time to actually put in my schedule to finish reading it at one weekend or something. Maybe because all the while my thoughts were then already in playback.

Anyway, as I've said earlier, The Valkyries was about the quest in finding and seeing your angel. Halfway thru the book, it has already mentioned that angels already talk to us thru different channels, like they manifest themselves thru other people who we encounter in our life. It says that sometimes, you have already seen and talked to your angel but you were just not aware of it because we are too absorbed into our own concept of angels that we expect to find our angel in an image of a beautiful being with white wings. But if you were given a choice, would you like to be aware that you'd be seeing your angel and talk to him if you knew who your angel was? As for me, I was undecided. The thought of seeing my angel gave me both the longing and fear, as I don't know how I should be when I get face to face with my angel in a place where people are watching your every move. I didn't know how to talk to my angel, I didn't know how to do channeling.

Today, I had an hour and a half free to spend the afternoon while waiting for an important appointment. I decided to spend it at Pacific Coffee, in The Hive at Raffles Place. I decided that I'd read the book to pass the time. As I sip my brewed coffee and flip thru the pages, after an hour and a half, I finished reading thru it, until the Epilogue and I was already impressed at that point and have concluded that I liked the book, including how it concluded. But being me, I read books from cover to cover so I read thru further until the last two pages -- the Author's note where Paulo Coelho confirmed that The Valkyries was taken from his real life encounters with finding his own angel so at 4:30pm on page 212, I have concluded that the book has surpassed all the effects of the other Paulo Coelho books I've read. I held on to it tightly as I could not believe the feeling it has brought me. I actually felt like how Paulo felt when he realized how he could see his angel, I realized my angel was with me as well.

Angels guide and protect us, even if we ignore them, they are just there watching over us, caring ang loving us in their own way. Yet sometimes we ask for more from them, we ask for a miracle just to admit to ourselves that they do exist. But really we don't have to test and wait for our angel to say I wish I could promise more before we believe because angels themselves are already heaven sent. So, need not have to wish more, as there has already been so much love given, that love itself is already the miracle we've been wanting to prove all along, manifested in friendship... and this is something that will be remembered...for lifetime.

All in a day's work - a bloody flower analogy

Morning - The intrusion

Though I was already starting to feel lazy when I got to office this morning, I did manage to push myself to continue with the new program I was doing. However, halfway to completing this change request, my mentor approached me to question my function design which eventually led us to discussing it to our manager (take note though: I have already discussed it with my manager last week). Anyway, to make the long story short, my mentor's "minimalistic" (i.e. not pro-user) approach prevailed. And though it has made technical things more simple, I still was not comfortable delivering such an incomplete thing to the user to whom I had already discussed my design considering she is one of those kind users that are easy to talk to. Now I have to go back to her and tell her something like "I'm sorry Regina but the design we have discussed has just been scrapped" in a nice way. As I have told Mhean, my friend-collegue, it is like the user requested that I make a flower and I said ok, I can make a flower but only to tell her in the end I would be delivering only a stem!

That was enough to start up my lazy mood again.

Early afternoon - The catalyst
So I just sat there in my desk, demotivated in what I was going to do next. I decided I would just start with it tomorrow. Then I got an SMS message from my only bro that really made an impact to me. For the 8 months I've been away from home to work, today was the second time I've received a message from him. He asked how I was and I was starting to get sentimental and touched but only to realize that it would just only last for some mere milliseconds as I read the next words in the message asking me for Oakley sunglasses because it's summer! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!???? It was enough to completely put my mood to gloom. I could not explain to myself anymore how I could feel good about myself.

Further into the afternoon - The bloody crime
In my desperation to calm myself and in the hope that my mood could be shifted to a relaxed one, I decided to have a cup of coffee as I have not had a coffee for the day (I had tea with milk in the morning). Sadly, I didn't know that an innocent longing would actually be the cause of a bloody crime...

The villain:

The accomplice:

The victim:

The savior:

The witness:

It was a two-inch slash on my middle finger and I dont know why in the world that the first thing that came into my mind was to take a picture of it dripping with blood before tending to it. Haha. See what a mad mind can do? Tsk tsk tsk... =S

Anyway, like a little girl I went to Mhean's desk wanting to ask for help although I was hesitant because I knew that she doesn't like to see blood. But I had no choice so I showed her my finger wrapped in blood stained tissue. She asked for the first aid kit from our manager and my manager was so kind enough to put antiseptic and plaster on my injured finger. I was really touched both with Mhean and my manager's care for me.

So what is my lesson learned from all of this?

Thou shall not try to open a can of milk just to satisfy your craving for coffee when you are absent minded.

Please mind the platform gap

Next stop...Changi

This airport has become like a usual hangout for me already, with the number of times I've been there to either pick up someone, send someone off or I myself am arriving/departing in this country. But every moment was different for me, special in each way and it makes me love this airport more and more each time. Last Tuesday, Feb 21st, I went there to meet my friend from highschool. It was amazing that the feeling of anticipation to see an old friend was there. And when we finally met at the arrival area, it was like back to the old days in highschool when we were close friends. He gave me a warm hug and it felt really good as I felt the sincerity of his being. It's been three years since we last saw each other but surprisingly no awkwardness, and on the contrary, it seemed like we were even more comfortable with each other now than three years back. Maybe because he's changed and I've changed, maybe because we have matured.

Next stop...Orchard

I brought him straight from the airport to Orchard road, the famous shopping road haven. We had dinner there and I had my first taste of century egg (ulk!). The following morning I accompanied him at the same road, to where the Thai Embassy was.

Next stop...Choa Chu Kang

I decided I'd take the day off from work as we finished his VISA application in less than an hour in the Thai Embassy and we had the whole afternoon to spend. So we went back first to the area where I live and to a nearby clinic where I had to consult the doctor to get a medical certificate for skipping work that day. I told the doctor I had diarrhea, the doctor asked me if I ate something that might have disrupted my stomach. I answered I had century egg last night, it was the first thing that came into my mind. The doctor smiled like she was suppressing her laughter. I told my friend what happened and he laughed at my century egg excuse too. It was indeed a funny excuse as he is also a doctor. He passed the medical board exams last year (wuhu! applause! applause!). I think his diagnosis to me would not be diarrhea but halucination. Hehehe.

Next stop...Bukit Gombak

After a heavy Hokkien Mee lunch, I took him to my recluse. It was my sudden decision to alight on that station and show him my "secret" place. It was a place that I share to people close to my heart and I was praying and hoping he'd appreciate the place as I don't bring just anyone there. He liked it so much. I'm glad (whew!). Then we went to the church on the hill where we made a quick prayer. I remember we went to church too before we headed out for coffee three years ago. Thank you, Lord for these moments.

Next stop...Harbourfront

I brought him next to Sentosa. The usual route - cable car, Mt. Faber, Siloso beach, Merlion, and musical fountain. How many times have I done the same route now? Three? Four? But nevertheless, every time it was still a new experience. I still enjoyed every moment of it.

Next stop...Raffles Place

We met and went with our other highschool batchmates who are also working here and what a great time we had. It was so nice to talk about highschool times, and so funny to reveal each one's "tampo" to another batchmate or how I admitted I had this major crush on another batchmate back then. I saw how much he enjoyed our mini reunion and I'm glad that he had a great time in his short stay here.

Next stop...Dover

It was too bad I couldn't go with him to the airport on his departure day as I had to go to work, but nevertheless, I was happy enough that as we said our goodbyes he gave me that warm hug again, right there in the train station. But strangely enough, I felt that as we went our separate ways, our goodbyes actually meant see you later.

Next stop...Bangkok ;-)

Playback

Pause...

I had this dream.
That I was in a place where time stopped and logic did not exist.
Where scenes were snapshots collated together to form a picture perfect thing called life.
I walked on the shore and stood in the rain.
My hair let down and the wind blew on them gently.
I spoke my mind aloud no matter how absurd.
Laughed and talked with strangers without inhibitions.
Sung out to my heart's content.
I could say which was the most romantic place in the world.
But it was just a dream!
An illusion!
And when you wake up and go on, the familiarity fades.
Until you only remember vague bits and pieces of that dream.
And reality sinks in.
That I live in this dimension and not in a dream.
Though I still interfere my destiny by holding on to something tangible.
To which I cherish but at the same time dismiss.
Sometimes I test chance but I conclude it as pointless.
As a temporary feeling can be substituted by devouring chocolates...
However, no magic tricks are allowed anymore.
There is no more tolerance for confusion.
The heart is tired of abnormal beats.
I am going back and will remain in a trance of indifference.
But I am still me.
So I still say thank you for everything.

...Resume

Let me take my walk from here, please.

Please? =(

Happy Hearts' Day!

Highlights of the day:

• Curled my hair and wore cheerleader skirt
• Updated my Yahoo Avatar with heart emitting clouds as background and with cupid flying around and his arrow missing my avatar
• Spent first half of the day at Raffles hotel where I:
  ~Learned something about database performance monitoring and SQL tuning by Quest Software
  ~Had 2 cups of brewed coffee and 1 cup of English tea
  ~Had a sumptuous lunch buffet (seafood in chardonnay sauce was superb!)
  ~Had to remind myself to remember fine dining table manners when I took the table napkin and fork on my right instead of my left which was the correct set.
• Closed a service request that has been haunting me for months now (hallelujiah!)
• Went on a date with Bitter Ocampo (thanks Nina! ^-^ )

Quitting catechism class

A paperbag full of journals laid on the chair beside her. A plate of kway teow laid in front of her.

Chopsticks in hand, she started to eat her lunch at past 1pm like a zombie. Lots of thoughts and questions playing in her mind.

I was late today for Catechism class because I had to accompany my sister to the airport before going to church. My usual class schedule was: first 45 minutes was the lesson, the next 1hr 15 minutes we hear mass together with the students, then the last 30 minutes was for sharing session and journal writing.
I missed the first part of class and was late for mass as well. During mass my mind was contemplating on so many things bothering me now and how I could take away these burden. Part of it was catechism class -- it was a commitment that I think I could not handle. I feel incompetent as a catechist, because I cannot handle the adoloscents, they are so much of a challenge. I could not handle the responsibility of teaching them how to be spiritual and respectful, it was just too much for me. Last year when I was assigned to the Primary 3 students, just as an assistant, I was already intimidated by the children. So just imagine the intimidation of handling these young adults, very agressive young people from a different culture. It is like begging for respect, survival of the fittest, and I don't know how to move, I am always cautious as there is cultural difference.

How can I share my reflections if I could not even express myself? How can I teach them to commit, when I myself couldn't? I want to proudly say I am a Catechist because I deserve it, not for the sake of trying to impress people. It is also such a big bother to me to see people pretending to be servants of God, it disturbs me how they could wear the holy robe, be part of the celebration and yet transform completely once they take off the robe. So there I was, praying to God and asking for His consent for me to quit Catechism class.
When I proceeded to the last part of class after mass, our head catechist approached me. I think my actions that I am losing interest in the class were too obvious and she had a good feeling I would be quitting. She straightforwardly ask me if I was having a hard time in class, and I told her honestly that I did have a hard time handling the secondary students. She also told me I should've not missed yesterday's seminar on classroom management and that it would've helped a lot. Anyway, in short she told me not to leave her as she cannot afford another Catechist quit. We started with 4 of us teachers, and today there was only the two of us. There were more than 50 students.
How could I say no to that? Although I know that she was asking me to stay not because I was a competent Catechist but because she has no choice, I gave her my assurance. I think it was God's answer, He didn't want me to quit, He wants me to face this challenge.

A paperbag full of journals now lies beside her bed. Starting tomorrow, she will read them. Although still with reservations, she will try to start the week with hope. She silently recites one of her favorite quotes,

"The Christian life is a series of beginnings..."

God bless tomorrow and the coming days.

Kumunoy

Kumunoy - (noun) Tagalog word for quicksand.

I don't like quicksands. It is scary. It is one of the reasons I have not had the courage to finish Super Mario 3.

Quicksands are usually also in deserts, the Egyptian ambiance, another thing that gives me the creeps.

I got a very good advice from my sis, and that is for me to be careful and stay away from kumunoys.

Some people can be quicksands waiting for you to pull you down. She has a very good point, although of course there is this super hero side of me again who is trying to argue it - like trying to make a difference and save those people that has become kumunoys instead.

But then again, the reality is, I am just as vulnerable as anyone so I better take her advice.

Plangak!

Ever had those 'plangak' moments?

You know, like...

~you sit side by side on the beach, close your eyes and feel the wind on your face and say "isn't this relaxing?", then he says something like, "the sun is the center of the solar system..."
--> PLANGAK! :-s

~you talk about excitedly upon knowing he's also read a book you like and you say "I love the book! Its message was so perceptive and profound.." then he says something like, "who let the dogs out? (who! who!)"
-->PLANGAK! :-s

Face it dearie, if all you have are 'plangak' moments with him, then admit there is no chemistry, no sparks, no nothing. I'm not even sure you can be buddies at the least. You have to be on the same wavelength to understand and appreciate each other, moreso, have a conversation in the first place. It should be naturally light so if you feel there is too much effort, don't push it, let go.

yea, sad, I know. =(

Distorting distorted distortions

yes, some people can do that -- distort my already distorted distortions in life.

and i wonder how do they do it and how can they do it in the first place?

it is not at all healthy, it is confusing further my already mad mind...

and i also wonder if i am doing the same thing to anyone?

i definitely hope not..but in case i do, then i am not intentionally doing it.

but well i know it was also my fault, that in some way i could have prevented these distortions,because i do my choices, and even from that point i already know that there were consequences from these choices...

just like when i chose to ride that bus that night or when i chose to buy a bottle of tequila, i knew it was a point of no return...

hmm, maybe i am overanalyzing things again...not good, not good. tsk tsk tsk....

i should remember that some things are just merely a hat, and not a boa constrictor digesting an elephant...and although i want to beThe Little Prince's rose in his planet, maybe i just have to admit that i am just one of the roses in the bushes he saw on earth...but then again, it can also happen that one day somebody will pick me from the bush, and put me on a vase on a table and i will become the color of a pale room, or maybe a ribbon will be tied around me and i will become the symbol of a blossoming love...

then i can say that my distortions are not distorted anymore...

How to become a mushroom

***********

Rule 1: Learn to love the dark and avoid sunlight.

Rule 2: Learn to spend at least 8 hours inside your room (without sunlight coming in of course).

Rule 3: Always wear dark and dull colored clothes. Do not wear bright colors!

Rule 4: Keep your privacy bubble implemented at all times. No person 6 inches within proximity.

***********

With acknowledgement given to the brains of the Rules -- her highest mushroomness, Miss Nina.
Wisdom shared to novice one rainy mushroom night in Border's bookstore.

Operation Nightlife: The Battleplan

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

WHEN:It was a Friday night, a week before the 2006 Lunar New Year.

SUBJECT: Three ladies got together in a Cafe', talked and laughed their hearts out.

Then the two of them danced along Orchard Road to the music by the street performers, the other one pretending not to know them.

(Haha, come on Nina, let's do the cha cha cha! Juan Talamera.....Juan Talameraaaaaaaa......)

Not a bit shy on what they were doing, didn't mind the look from other people, they seemed amused anyway.

What more when the three ran, racing each other to the traffic light.

One coke, one tea, and one jelly dessert after, the battleplan was laid out:

No intruders will be allowed in the system, only interfaces can be tolerated.

TARGET: And the mushroom society was born.

I am Flor..ence?!

What's in a name? Rather, what's with my name?

One day in office, while I was busy trying to be a diligent information systems analyst, I heard a voice from a distance...

"Florence...", the voice said. I thought it was just my imagination so I dismissed it. But I heard it again, "Florence?" Then I realized it was my local colleague on the other side of the office cubicle calling me. From then on, he has been consistently calling me Florence. I don't know why he pronounce my name as such, Florianne doesn't at all sound like Florence, does it? He must know how my name is spelled, he receives emails from me and sends emails to me. But I didn't mind because he's way too senior to be corrected anyway (hehehe =P ). Besides, it is my mother's name and I like her name anyway. Still, only the first four letters are the same, ya know.

Then one day, I heard another voice say "Florence". When I realized it was from another collegue (and he is one of those very few "cool" local colleagues) from the side of the cubicle behind my desk, I then thought he must have heard my name pronounced as such by my senior collegue so he has adopted the same.

However, the funny thing is that in church as well, when our head local catechist introduced me to my class, she introduced me as.......you guessed it right, "Florence"! So I realized, the mysterious pronouciation of my name must be because of the local language.

But here's the weirder thing, during our Department's Chinese New Year gathering, when the emcee called out "Florence" as one of the seven finalists for best dressed staff , although I did hesitate for a moment before standing up, I already had an almost sure feeling that it was me he was referring to. Well, I was half hoping that maybe there was really a Florence in our department although I know there isn't from our staff directory..but just to be sure though before I stood up and got up to the front. The finalists were then asked to walk around the place (imagine me trying to suppress my itch to do something silly like do a catwalk or make a pagent-like wave...just to make the event fun, ya know, ahihihi =P). Then the rest of the staff were asked to give their votes by dropping a toothpick in one of the seven bowls with each of the finalists' names. After the winners were announced and we started queueing to the buffet table did I take a peek at the names in the bowl and guess how was my name spelled...F-L-O-R-E-N-C-E !!! What the?!?!

So, the whole department now thinks my name is Florence and I am quite sure that name stuck in their minds (because I had the second most number of votes, tee hee =P ) but it will puzzle them that they couldn't find me in the staff directory.

But that is the mystery to my name and the locals, so c'mon, let's hear it one more time:

give me F-L-O-R-I-A-N-N-E ................what do we get?

FLORENCE!!! wuhu!

My prayer

Dear Lord,
As I walk one step forward, please guide me
May I fear not what has been behind my back
Let me leave them with a sure heart and mind
Let me face my fate now with all the grace
As You will always be my life's editor
Correcting any mistake I make along the way
That when the time comes for me to be with You
I will be welcomed with open arms.

Yes, Lord, I will let you write my love story.

Blessed be.

Chapter N begins

Initially, I told myself that for chapter N, it will start with something like a new blank page. Then the words that would be written will be all new, all in present or future, with no reference to the past. But then that would actually be inconsistent on having a chapter N, isn't it? Because to have a chapter N there must have been a chapter N-1, and in order for chapter N to be a part of the book, it must have a reference to those written in previous chapters.

So, much as I would like things to start with an eternal-sunshine-of-the-spotless-mind-type, I cannot.
I tried for so many times already, especially in Chapter N-2 but I just have to accept that even those we want to erase from our book because we think they are worthless are still actually essential, because we wouldn't be writing Chapter N without them.

Oh, why do I call it chapter N? Why not a specific number?
Well, because I dont know exactly when was Chapter 1, all I know is that I know that a chapter ends and a new one begins, thus, Chapter N. Somewhat funny about this N thing is that silentwaves actually started with the intent of a countdown to N days of waiting for someone which turned out to be a most impossible thing to happen (imagine counting to infinity!). Only three people knew about the existence of silentwaves then, until now that I had the guts to finally introduce it to everyone... never too late to get out of the shell, right? ;-)

And so now, silentwaves can be heard....just listen.

Conclusion

And the waves are silent

As a chapter ends and a new one begins...

Friday the 13th

Less than 12 hours and I'll be on my way home again.
Home....

I cant really describe exactly how I am feeling since I got off from work. My feelings are all in a mess, but dominantly I feel sad and it is what the exact reason I feel so that is unidentifiable. Because there are a lot of reasons that my emotions are so mixed up right now. I really can't think straight, all I know is I feel so tensed and lonely.

I hope things work out for the best.

2 bottles of beer + 1 hazelnut coffee = Riverside insanity

I don't usually drink beer but that night I had 2 bottles. It was a surprise to me actually, as never have I finished even a bottle of beer in my life but that night I was able to drink 2 bottles! Maybe because it was a different brand, it was an Australian beer that the Hooters girl recommended, she said it had a smooth taste, maybe she was right ...or maybe it was just because I wanted to drink, so no matter what brand it could have been I still would have finished two.

Anyway I had a great time with one of my best girlfriends. I am really so glad to have gone out with her that night, she's been such a great friend and I so much appreciate her friendship, she's one of those who keep me have a check with reality and at the same time still believe in the mysteries of love.

It was a night to remember indeed. Just like the night when I stood in the rain and a beautiful snapshot in my life was created.

Love is in the airport

Sitting here at the airport, waiting for my sister’s flight to depart before I leave.
Indeed there is such a special feeling in airports, this feeling of loneliness in departure area, and a feeling of excitement in arrival area. But the former is more distinct.

Just like now I am feeling that particular feeling seeing my sister make her way to immigration. We made a quick hug. We’ll see each other next week again anyhow, but still I feel lonely, surprisingly. I’m sure going to miss her company. It’s really amazing how quality time can bond you more, probably because we know we only have limited time so we make the most out of it, unlike when we were living in the same house, where we know that we spend all the time together so we take it for granted, we allow ourselves to tolerate conflicts and misunderstandings. The same applies to any relationship, be it siblings, parents-daughter, husband-wife.

If only people can live their life without taking time for granted. Relationships would be more meaningful, more harmonious and happy, no need to suffer from unnecessary conflicts, confrontations or cold shoulders.

And so again today I have again proven that physical distance can actually make one closer to other's hearts.