Meet Bogart

He is our house bear. He sits by a chair in the living room beside the window.

I first met him the first time I came to the flat I live in now. After the previous tenants left Singapore, they gave everything to my then housemate including him. When I moved in to the flat I decided to name him Bogart. When my then housemate moved out, he said he'd be back one day to take Bogart and the rest of his stuff he left in the storage room.

Bogart knows all our guests because I introduce him to all our visitors. So everyone who has visited our flat should know Bogart. He knows everything that's happening in our flat.

There was this one time when the window was left open and it rained so hard during the day. When I came home from work I was so devastated to see Bogart all wet and so was almost half of the living room floor flooded! I felt so sad that it had to happen to Bogart, imagine helplessly getting all soaked and cold...

It's been almost a year now that I have been living with Bogart and he has always been a competent house bear. I have changed housemates but Bogart remained loyally with me. He patiently watch over our flat whenever me and my housemates are not home. He knows me quite well -- he has seen me eat in front of the TV, laugh by myself, write in my blog and cry by myself. I have grown so fond of Bogart that for some time I have been worrying about how I would feel so sad when the time comes when my previous housemate would take him back. But thankfully enough, when I asked my previous housemate recently if I could keep Bogart, he agreed. So Bogart will stay with me for as long as he wants. :)

This weekend though, he would be alone in our flat because this morning my housemates went home to the Philippines and then tomorrow I will go home as well. I hope Bogart would not be so lonely, because I understand how being alone could be so depressing. But then again, Bogart is always smiling, and perhaps it's because he knows that everytime I go away, I am coming back.

I hope this wears off the soonest

There are so many things in my mind right now.

I usually do a lot of thinking sitting down and staring into nothingness and yet for me, is the most tiring thing I do.

It didn't help that I could not connect to the remote machine I use to access our databases. In short, I could not do my work and that left me with more time to continue pondering what to do. What a great timing (sigh).

I could not even look forward to lunch break, because there's nothing to look forward to, as it is another thing to think about -- what and where would I eat this time? It doesn't make a difference because I'd be eating alone anyway. For the past weeks, especially the past few days, I have been losing my appetite for lunch. I don't feel like eating at all.

But yeah, I needed to eat to continue breathing and oh yes, thinking. So I decided to have lunch in Orchard Road, which is a kilometer stretch of road lined up with malls on both sides. It was 10 minutes away from the business district where I work. I chose to go there as I felt it would take my mind off from the things I think about. At least I had some destination and I knew I was going somewhere and I already knew what to order for lunch.

But now that lunch break is over, I am back at my desk again staring into nothingness.

I should not have made those phone calls last night. I should have kept my mouth shut. But why do I have to blame everything on myself?

Now not only have I shut my mouth, I am not smiling anymore.

Miss congeniality is tired of understanding the world.

P.S.
I need that blackhole. Can somebody tell me how to get to the other dimension please?

Tattoed arm

I got a tattoo on my left upper arm from our company party (which was superb and one of the best company parties I have attended) last Saturday. It was of a pattern of flowers.

But before you gasp in surprise at my decision to get a tattoo at such an indiscreet part of my body, I have to save you from wondering how I did it -- so I have to let you know first that it's just henna tattoo, hehehe.

Ok, just henna tattoo.

I don't like needles and I have no plans of getting a permanent tattoo.

The pretty and sweet Indian lady who was doing the henna tattoo said it will last for only two or three days but I knew it wouldn't because my sisters and brother had henna tattoos when we went to the beautiful Boracay beach a few years ago (it was a popular thing in the beach). But I still had my arm done and so were some of my lady colleagues and last Monday we all saw each other's arms and hands and we couldn't help but say to each other how we thought our tattoos would come off within the weekend but found out it didn't so we had to live with it for a few more days.

This is the first time I have had a tattoo and it was quite exciting for me because I have been wondering how it would look like if I had a tattoo, moreso, have it on my arm. It looked fine to me but I know it is something I would not like to have permanently as it is not me. It was weird to see myself dressed up in my girl next door clothes then see my tattooed arm. But the experience was nice, my tattoo is like my expression of my "bad girl" side, I mean my not so sweet side, the liberated and the naughty side of coffee fairy...But just like my tattoo, it would just be temporary and will get erased eventually although you know it was there before but you didn't want to keep it.

Some things are not meant to stay. Sometimes you wish it could actually go away instantly but sometimes, it has to fade away thru time, slowly for healing without scars.

Double tagged!

I am so thankful to Sassy Lady and Prince Romp for double tagging me. I really appreciate it, my friends, that you have showed your concern to the coffeefairy's revival of her blogland. Mwa! Mwa! (^_^)

3 schools you went to

1. Gradeschool (Primary)

2. High School (Secondary)

3. University and Polytechnic

3 things in your purse / backpack
1. My toothbrush and toothpaste

2. A pen

3. My wallet

3 things you do when you're really stressed
1. Read

2. Write in my journal

3. Eat

3 places you go on a daily basis
1. Work

2. MRT

3. Home

3 favourite fruits
1. Mango

2. Strawberry

3. Blueberry (in cheesecakes)

3 names you go by
1. coffee

2. coffeefairy

3. iamcoffee

3 of your favourite food
1. Grilled tilapia fish

2. Chicken joy by Jollibee

3. Kare-kare by my mother

3 things you are wearing right now
1. T-shirt

2. Pajamas

3. My mood

The WHOS'
Who is in the house with you?

Younger sis, a friend-housemate

Who are you thinking about right now?

I wish I know.

Who did you last talk to on the phone?

One of my dearest friends, missy blackwidow

Who did you sit to in your 5th period class?

Can't remember anymore

Who was the last person you told you loved?

My friend.

Who do you wish you were with right now?

My knight in shining armour.

Who gets on your nerves the most at school?

Bullies

The WHERE'S
Where is your phone?

On my dresser

Where do you sleep?

In my bedroom

Where is the last place you took a ride to?

Bukit Panjang LRT

The WHAT'S
What was the last thing you ate?

Yang chow fried rice, dried fried beef kway teow and chicken in XO sauce

What color shirt are you wearing?

Blue

What is the closest item near you that is blue?

Besides my shirt, my mood.

What do you like best about school?

Library

What is your favourite color?

Purple

What do you wear most: jeans or shorts?

Jeans

What is the last movie you watched?

Mission Impossible 3

The WHEN's
When did you start school?

When I was 5 years old

When did you last go to the mall?

Last Sunday, had dinner at a nice resto inside.

When did you last burn something?

I think last month, was frying something and then a drop of boiling oil dropped on my hand (ooooucccccccchh!!!)

Missed Congeniality

Years ago I used to be this uptight person. I was easily disappointed when things don't usually go the way I hope (or expect) them to be, and most of the time it does not really happen the way you want it to, right? I had angsts and so I had my cranky times.

One of the benefits of going through emotional challenges in life is that once you overcome them, then you become emotionally mature.Your patience and understanding gets extended...a lot, depending on how much you are willing to embrace life's scars and accept that it had been a part of your life and you just have to see it in a positive way. It depends how much excess baggage in your heart you are willing to give up.

And so I can say I have matured emotionally the way I have changed my attitude about life. I loosened up and became a bit laid back. I just laugh now at my own embarrassing moments instead of skulking down in shame. I don't get too disappointed anymore when things don't go my way because I know God will give to me what I ask for in the right moment.

I have therefore evolved into this cheerful and friendly little lady. I try to be considerate and understanding on everyone. I try to cheer up and inspire anyone I can in my own simple way. Some may find me naive, but then I don't mind, it is this naivety that does not give up on keeping the world a pleasant place to live in, in putting the art in science, in putting the softness and grace in steel, in keeping alive the child within.

I have been told more than once that I am "too kind". Though I initially thought there's nothing wrong with being too kind, I did have come to realize that yes, there are some disadvantages of being too kind. For one, once you suddenly get fed up and lose your temper for example, people would take it so much against you, like you have no right to snap because you are a "kind" person. Then there is of course the tendency of being taken advantage of and getting bullied around.

However, I am still human. I still get hurt. I am just tired that some people can really be rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate. I am very sad to realize that many people don't exert the effort anymore to say things in a nicer way. Is it that hard to do? Is it hard to think a few more seconds on how to phrase your words and say it with empathy? I am getting tired of being the one to adjust and try to understand. Why can't they adjust instead? It is like draining me of my energy to keep a jolly mood. I feel like snapping.

But I cannot snap. I have to continue being miss congeniality because I would like to keep a light heart. So right now I am trying my best to shrug off whatever is disturbing me and just try to inspire myself with the help of my good friends. I just need to recharge. If only I could get zapped to a place where I could relax and get pampered. If not, I wouldn't mind also if I could get sucked inside a blackhole for a few days...

I believe in the ability of man to change for the better, and given the right approach and opportunity, I believe each person has a bud full of potentials inside them just waiting to bloom. I just wish each person would try to nurture that bud of kindness and let it bloom with understanding and compassion.

Happy Feet

So cute! =)

Turn on your speakers!

On Weddings and My Life Rated

Last Sunday I woke up with the sound of screaming people. I looked out from the window of my room and saw that there was a wedding reception at the poolside of our condominium and the bride was throwing her bouquet for the single ladies to catch. *Sigh* What a nice sight, enough to make me start this entry although I don't really want to start this talk about wedding stuff because...oh well what the heck.

So I remember my friend, Missy Blackwidow sent me a link to the video of the wedding of a former collegue. The video was done by Jason Magbanua, one of the best and popular videographers in the Philippines. I recommend you check out the gallery in his website. He has there samples of wedding videos he's done and they are reeeeeally good. Check out the video of Roan and Natalie's wedding, they are my former collegues, their video is really nice. Then check out also the video of Je and Sunil, I don't know them but their video is cute. Then there was this wedding video of Michael and Claire, also a couple I don't know but which I sooo love their wedding video, it is sooo cool and sooo happy, that it really touched my heart and I felt how the best of friends they are even if I don't know them. Too bad though that their video is not anymore in Jason Magbanua's gallery but I still have a copy of it when I downloaded it I think last month. I wish I could show the video, I love it so much. (Maybe I can post the file somewhere?)

Ok, so everyone I know is either getting married soon or planning to get married. It is confirmed that by the end of this month my elder sis is migrating to USA to get married and be with her husband to be. The probability that my only bro will get married by end of this year or early next year is very high and I will not be surprised if my younger sis would announce that she'd get married in a year or two. Even my friend got married virtually, well her Ragnarok character got married, that is (their wedding picture below was posted with permission from my friend. Cute huh? :) )

Well, so how about me? What are the chances I am getting married soon? See below, need I say more? (So your mushroomness, Miss Aoisoba, you cannot complain about your 0.8 love life rating, ok? :P)

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.3
Mind:	6.5
Body:	6.8
Spirit:	7.9
Friends/Family:	3.8
Love:	0
Finance:	8.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

*Credits to Sassy Lady for introducing the Rate My Life Quiz. :)

The Lost Kway Teow

And so I started with my new job in my new workplace. As I have been warned I will have no team mates, thus, as I have expected I would be spending my lunch breaks with myself. This is something I have to get used to (aside from the fact that my desk is strategically located with the CEO's desk a couple of meters away behind me). I have been used to having my girlfriends cum lunch buddies in my previous work that I need to adjust being alone again, and I always feel sad when I eat alone. So in times when I eat alone, I have observed that I keep myself from being lonely by having
Kway Teow (image also taken from there) or Hokkien Mee, but I am more keen on the former.

As the Kway Teow is a common food in Singapore, I should be able to find it in any food center. So when I went to the food center at the back of the building where I work, the first thing I looked for was for a Kway Teow. To my surprise there was only one store selling Kway Teow, so even if the line was long I queued and waited. Then my turn came and Auntie seller took my order, I said I'd have a Kway Teow and since I could not clearly understand what Auntie was saying, when she asked me something I just said yes like I usually do so to make things simpler. But then after saying yes I had a feeling I made a wrong answer. When I got my order was the time I realized what Auntie seller asked me -- she was clarifying if I wanted "the soup one", to which I answered yes so she gave me a big bowl of Kway Teow SOUP!

Awwwww nooooo!!! =(

I wanted the fried Kway Teow, I thought it was standard that when you say Kway Teow, it's FRIED seafood Kway Teow. But well too late, so I ate the Kway Teow SOUP. In fairness it was delicious, but still I am not into soups because for some reason I always have my tongue get "burned" from eating hot soup so it takes me eternity to finish a bowl of soup because I have to eat slowly to wait for the soup to cool down a little.

Anyway, the following day I went back to the same store to get myself a FRIED Kway Teow and guess what, it didn't taste good so I was sooo disappointed.

Awwwwww noooo!!! =(

I really don't know what's the point of me writing about my obsession on Kway Teow. Just that I got frustrated that I couldn't have a nice fried kway teow that day, moreso I got lost after deciding to take the bus going to the mall I needed to go to after work and then when I got a taxi finally I was unfortunately stuck in an unusual traffic jam that the only thing I could say to Uncle taxi driver to strike a conversation was where I could find the best fried Kway Teow in Singapore. He looked like he was amused to know I like Kway Teow and so he seemed happy to think about it and finally said in the restaurants in the East Coast.

But then again, when I think about Kway Teow now, suddenly, I don't feel like having one anymore. Suddenly, I just lost my craving for it.

Awww nooooo!!! =(

Hello (again) Corporate World

Imagine a little lady well dressed up in her brown blouse and beige pants with matching beige high heeled shoes emerging from the train station tunnel to have a view of her new work place. Big black leather bag on her shoulder, she stopped to have a look at the towering building in front of her that would be her new "home".

Ah yes, that excited and scared look in her eyes, just like when she started her first job after college...

My very nice breakfast before I went to my first day on my new work ;O)

So I'm back to the corporate world and I am back to the central business district. Reminds me of the first time I got acquainted with the hussle bussle in the corporate world and all the usual career goal hullahbaloos. Funny when I think about those times last year when I used to have a lot of headache from the stress I had from the corporate world to the point that when I got home after work one night I literally put ice on my head to cool down the throbbing in my forehead that I felt.

When I was just applying for my current job, I did ask myself then if I was ready to go back to the rumble. My previous job at The School was a breather -- I went home right on time, no pressures or tight deadlines, no tedious administrative work...With my new job, I'll be back to the Financial world and when talking about money, everything becomes very critical, thus the stress and pressure. But then again, I feel that I have to return to Finance, as it is my my field of competence. Furthermore, I have a good feeling about my new company and of what will be my job responsibilities. I really can't exactly say why, but I just feel that this job was meant to be for me because first of all I did not look for it, a headhunter just got in touch with me and asked me if I was interested in the job and from his description I had a good feeling. Next is the coincidence that my new company's trademark/logo is of fishes jumping out from fishbowls, just like signifying my life. Last of all, I never could have imagined I'd pass the written technical exam they gave me, plus the three panel interviews I went through. I knew it was God's gift to me, as I think it was the message from my Bible cut (Sirach 17:22-28) the day before the headhunter called me up to tell me I got the job.

Getting this job was indeed a life saving turning point because it made me realize that people do appreciate me and that my skills are indeed giving value to my work delivery and to which I am very happy to know about. My cup overflowed when the headhunter told me that just from our first meeting, he knew that I'd get the job, when my manager from my company way back in the Philippines gave a very good feedback about me when the headhunter interviewed him for my background check, when my current company agreed to pay for the penalty for my premature termination of my contract with my previous employer so that I could start with them in a month's time, and most especially when my manager from my previous work counter offered to make me a permanent employee when I filed for resignation from The School as she told me I have the qualities of a staff she'd really want to keep plus she told me on my last day in The School that if things don't work out well in my new job, I could always go back to The School.These are beyond flattery and I was really, really moved.

So, as I walk on a new path in my journey, I am keeping these memories which will be my inspirations -- across the road, to the 26th floor where I feel that one thing has fallen into place again.

Cheers!

Goodbye Academe

Yesterday was my last day in my job in a college school. Maia gave me the cute bear above for a farewell gift, she said it was like I have "graduated", hehehe. Though I did not cry (thank God!) on my last day as I thought I would, I did not have an easy time restraining myself from being sentimental. It is not my first time to be leaving a company but everytime it is not easy to say goodbye especially when you've made good friends there already. There is always my fear that my new found friendships will fade away when I leave my job, but then again it's something I have come to realize: that your true friends are those who will reach out back to you and continue to keep the friendship regardless of physical proximity. So with that I just hope and pray that to those I reach out, they reach back.

My farewell message to my collegues (some names were changed):


My dearest everyone,

Time flies so fast, it amazes me to think it has already been 9 months since I first stepped in to This School to become a part of This Department.

I believe that we have our free will which allows us to make our choices, however, I also do believe that my fate is led by destiny so I follow where it leads me to. Just like how it led me to work for This School last year. I already had a good feeling even just from learning I would be working for a school as I have this natural love for the Academe, perhaps because my parents are both college professors and are both working in government schools in the Philippines since even before I was born. This also reminds me of the University where I graduated from, with all the trees and nature within the campus.

So my decision to leave This School was indeed a tough choice as I have come to love This School and my collegues, including my new found non-human friends I have met (and maybe you'd like to meet too? :-) thru my daily 10-minute walk from the train station to our building -- the centipede, snail, humming bird and green snake at Bldg 14, the chameleon at Bldg 8, and the squirrel at Bldg 6. But just like how fate led me to This School, I also believe that fate calls me now to move on and continue with achieving my goals and fulfilling my destiny.

However, before I go, I would like to emphasize how grateful I am to This School for giving me the chance to work for this prestigious institution and for introducing me to a good life in Singapore. I would like to thank my team mates, most especially my manager, CTPK, for trusting and believing in me, I admire her so much for being such a good mentor and how she manages to handle both her work and home responsibilities and still maintain her grace. My thanks also to Ms. Asst. Deputy Director and to Mr. Deputy Director. On a side note, I also would like to thank Mr. Deputy Director for his patience with me because I have only tried to stay up late in office twice and for these two times that I needed to switch off the lights and lock up the 3rd flr, both times I have unintentionally switched the lights out on him as I thought I was the last one in office. :-)

As I leave This School today I will be keeping with me memories of everyone like

~Regina's farewell gift to me and her thoughtfulness (thank you so much, Regina)

~Mr YWH's farewell wishes to me (thank you Sir)

~Doris' homegrown banana and her motherly kindness

~Ai Choo's lunch out treat at a very nice restaurant

~YYH's daily words of wisdom and pronounciation of my name as 'Florence' :-)

~YXS' occasional visits to my desk and his sharing of his goofy "words of wisdom"

~NMS' turtle soup served in turtle shell

~TWY's good company when we attended an event in Raffles Hotel

~AC's warm greeting and smile and our occasional chats

~N's knowledge sharing during the times I have been mentoring him

~CTPK's coffee plus tea drink, the time she told me to not slouch when sitting and the time she helped me when I had a cut on my finger

~LKL's frequent appearance at my desk for his food dosage :-) and for a good chat about work, life and almost anything under the sun (thanks Man! you're one of the best mentors I've had )

~Damon's many attempts to surprise me from my back while walking around the campus (and one time with me almost spilling a mug full of hot coffee)

~Mhean's friendship -- for being so kind to me even before I came to Singapore, for being my 'big sister' (although I'm a year older than her :-)

My many thanks to each and everyone of you for making my stay in This School such an enjoyable and memorable one which I will truly treasure.

It has indeed been a privilege for me to have worked with you.

Keep in touch

(*Sigh*)

Anyway, I had a blast to end my day. My collegue treated me to a sumptous dinner at a very nice Mediterranean restaurant. Then I met up with Bes, Maia and Rey, my classmates from highschool who are also working here in Singapore to have some drinks to celebrate my last day and also Rey's birthday on Tuesday.

On Monday, I start on my new job.

The Three Little Figs*

(*The Parable of the Fig Tree)

Another Lenten season is over once again. For the third consecutive year, I have spent the Lenten season and easter in a foreign land. It is a nice experience though, as I could see the differences, yet the similarities are there as being Catholic, the tradition and teachings should be the same anywhere in the world...

Lenten 2004 - It was my first time to ride a Boeing 747, first time to go on a 16 hours flight. As I was excited for a new experience, I found I didn't mind talking to any stranger, let alone my would be seatmate on the very long flight from Manila to Amsterdam. He was an old guy from Switzerland who visited Manila to do some missionary stuff. Good, I thought, at least he'd be a kind person I can trust. So I didn't have inhibitions when we striked a conversation, I told him about my experience of watching Passion of the Christ, how I cried and cried so much while watching that film because I really felt guilty to watch Jesus suffer and die for my sins (and I meant every word of this). When we arrived in Amsterdam, we waited for our connecting flights for a couple of hours and we were parting ways there, me to take the plane to Dublin and him to take the plane to Switzerland. As I thought I found a new friend, I asked that we had our picture together taken and he agreed. Then when I asked him for his email address so I could send him our picture, I got an unexpected shock from his answer. He said he'd rather not give his email address to me as his wife might think negatively about it, in short he was implying his wife might think I was his fling or something. What in the world!?! I really didn't get that, he was old enough to be my grandfather for heaven's sake! So I deleted his image from my camera immediately after parting ways. Sadly, it was a memory not worth storing I suppose. *sigh* =( Anyway, though I did not start the Lenten season in Dublin as I went there after Ash Wednesday already, I did spend the Holy week there. I am so thankful that my friend and collegue, Joanne, was there with me during my first month there. As there were many churches in Dublin, we initially planned to do the stations of the cross one station per church during Good Friday. However, after realizing that it was not feasible to walk to fourteen churches within the whole day, we opted to do 5 stations per church so that we only had to go to three nearby churches (hmm, this would also be almost the same thing that will happen with Me and Miswa's Good Friday bisita Iglesia two years after, hehe =P). It was my first time to do the stations of the cross and I was glad and thankful to Joanne for introducing me to the stations of the cross and to God for giving us that opportunity. Joanne and I actually revived our friendship that time, as just before she left to go to Dublin 3 months before that we had this gap due to a misunderstanding we had at work. Indeed God works wonders, He fixes things in a most unexpected way...

Lenten 2005 -The pilot announced there would be a delay in landing to Detroit airport because the runway was not visible because of the snow. Though there was no need to panic yet, I did get a little nervous then since the plane had to fly around the airport for some time. So you could imagine my relief when the pilot announced that we could finally land after more than 30 minutes of circling in the air. It was indeed a very very exhausting trip. The 5 hour delay in Detroit airport for my connecting flight to Houston seemed like eternity. Almost all flights to other States were cancelled because of the snowstorm, but thank God ours was just delayed. So after almost a total of 24 hours flight from Manila, we safely landed in a snowless Houston, Texas. Although, it has just happened last year, I have a vague memory of my Lenten in Houston. It's a wonder I vividly remember my Lenten in Ireland two years ago, but I am having a hard time remembering how I spent my Lenten in Houston last year. I searched thru my planner and diary to have some idea what I did but there were no entries. But I do think I went for mass on Ash Wednesday and Easter and I remember I was doing stations of the cross too during the season because the church I went to every Sunday for mass gave out a free Stations of the Cross handbook. But yeah, it was understandable, because those were the times that I was at the peak of my emotional struggle in life. Before I went to Houston, I did a Bible cut and it led me to a verse saying I would be going to a foreign land and there I will die. I remember I was a bit scared after reading that verse, but after going to Houston I realized what it really meant. I really did die -- the old me died and a new me was born and I thank God for that, perhaps I was really meant to go through all the past struggles I've been through to make me who I am now...

Lenten 2006 - When I went to Singapore in 2003 for a 5-day vacation with Joanne, we both agreed we didn't want to work here, we found the ambiance quite serious and stiff, and everyone seemed to be all in a rush. How ironic would it be that fate actually led us to work here two years after saying that and would make me take those words back. Moreso to the irony that Singapore, being a small country known for its strict enforcement of laws and rules, would actually give way to taking me out of my fishbowl I've always felt I was in. Moving to Singapore has made a significant change in me and my life. Moving here made me realize that distance can actually make me more closer to my friends and family. I have come to know myself more, my perceptions in life has changed, I see things now in a different light, I have made lots of new friends and I am happier. I found my spiritual thirst being quenched here and my heart rejoices each time I am at church, or I have done a good deed for someone or even just brighten someone's day in my own simple way. It is unexplainable the feeling of fulfillment is, when my holy week this year was concluded with a happy easter indeed, as I saw the children happily decorating their easter eggs with their parents or going through the easter maze we have created last week out of donated boxes, enjoying all the activities we have organized for them, seeing the teenagers of Catechism students participate in Pastoral Attachments (and hearing them say they actually would like to continue participating in the church activities even after their Pastoral Attachment schedule), seeing a whole community mingle and have fun in the Lord's house... these are priceless fruits of our labor that cannot be compared to any monetary compensation. Yes, I have been relatively active in religious activities but no, I do not consider myself religious in a dogmatic sense, rather, I would like to say I am a spiritual person. I love God and I am honored to be His servant. For all the blessings that God has given me, I hope to thank Him back by spreading His love.

Praise be our Lord Jesus Christ for dying on the cross for us. May He live in each one of our hearts.

It's a good Good Friday

This Good Friday is one of my best Good Fridays ever.

Together with Her highest mushroomness (who is now starting to have some chlorophyll due to my insistent prodding, hihihi =P ), we went for Bisita Iglesia (Church visitation). Our initial plan was to do the stations of the cross in 4 churches but decided at the last minute to limit to just 3. First stop was St. Mary of the Angels where we did the first 4 stations of the cross and I toured Her mushroomness around the church compound. Then we had lunch at a nearby hawker where I had Hokkien Mee (I am really getting hooked into the local noodle dishes here) and Her mushroomness, Fried Rice and tofu. Then next church was at Novena Church, but to our surprise there was some kind of program when we got there which we thought was a mass but there shouldn't be mass celebrations on Good Friday so perhaps it was Psalm reading. So we decided to just make a quick prayer and make the rest of the stations of the cross at our last church. So we proceeded to Good Shepherd Church where we read the rest of the remaining 10 stations of the cross.

Then we met with Miswa's housemate and the three of us marched our way to the Book warehouse sale (gooooooo bookworms!). When we got there, it was indeed a warehouse full of books! But well, since it was a sale, you have to have the patience to look for good books, they wouldn't put popular books on sale, right? But Miswa's housemate was so good in catching the best books, she got a Pablo Neruda book! So I said to myself I'd do my best to find these type of good books. Along the way, I saw so many books that didn't seem interesting and whose authors I didn't know. I was wondering how sad it would be if I were one of those writers and I'd see my books on sale and people still won't buy them, that would be so heartbreaking. =(

After a couple of hours and S$30 damage in my pocket, I got me 4 books which are far from a Pablo Neruda book, hihihi. But nevertheless, I am so happy to get them. ;o)

Care Bears Official Handbook by Scholastic - I was so ecstatic when I saw this! I'm a Care Bear fan, you know. And here's more, this handbook had a poster of the Care Bears inside! Wowee! It was a treat indeed! Come do the Care Bears countdown, 5 4 3 2 1.. =P

Orlando Bloom , The Biography by AC Parfitt - Haha, what can I say? I'm just a girl like any other girl. Yes, this guy is one good looking man and is one of the reasons I can watch the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy over and over again (*sigh*). This is really something else, because the only biography book I have before this was St. Therese's, and I was able to restrain from buying Johnny Depp's biography book too which was on sale. But my gosh, just look at the book's cover and you'll know there's more handsomeness inside! Her mushroomness was not able to find another copy and so the whole night she was devising a way to steal my beloved Orlando Bloom book from me, hehehe.( I told you Miswa you can buy it from me for S$100, tee hee =P )

Love by Toni Morrison
- When I got this book, I thought I already had a paperback copy of this and I just felt like buying a hard bound one so I had second thoughts at first in buying it. But after giving more thought I realized the book I had was not the same book, as the book I already had was Love by Leo Buscaglia. This is a popular book and I've been seeing it in bookstores back home and I knew it was expensive, being hard bound and all and Toni Morrison is Toni Morrison. So yey! I got a good buy.

Pope John Paul II, Memory & Identity, Personal Reflections by Weidenfield and Nicholson - Of course, in my quest for my spiritual growth, inspiration comes from holy people I admire like Pope John Paul II. I admit that I don't know much about him though, I was still indifferent when he visited the Philippines for the World Youth Day back when I was in high school but now I wished I was there to see him. I hope to get to know him more from reading this book, just like how I got to know and love St. Therese of Liseux from reading her autobiography.

So after going to the booksale, we had a sumptous seafood platter for dinner at Fish & Co. in Changi Airport. We had ice cream from Swensen's for dessert and finally called it a day.

Tennis the Menace

I came 15 minutes early to the tennis court to do some stretching before I started my tennis lesson. There were two students that my tennis instructor was teaching before me, one boy was around 12 years old, the other around 8. The boys were given a water break while the tennis teacher picked up tennis balls. I sat on one of the benches when the 12 year old boy suddenly sat next to me and I had this amusing conversation that made my night...

Boy: You still studying?
Me: No, I'm already working
Boy: What's your job?
Me: I'm a computer programmer
Boy: Which type is it?
Me: I'm doing Peoplesoft..it's a business application
Boy: Hmm, I don't know it but I think I've read it somewhere...
Me: Oh really?
Boy: How old are you?
Me: I'm 26
Boy: You're still young...
(Hmm, what is this boy up to?)
Me: Oh yes I am? Thanks.
Boy: Are you married? (What is this boy getting at!?)
Me: Nope
Boy: Do you have a byrfrnd?
Me: What? (I didnt clearly understand what he said, it sounded like boyfriend...)
Boy: Do you have a boyfriend?
(Oh my God! I did hear it correctly!)
Me: No
Boy: Why?
Me: Why?! Hahaha, why? Why? Hmmm, I don't know! (I could not believe I was being asked that question by a 12 year old kid)
Boy: Why you dont know? (Somebody stop him!!!)
Me: Well I used to have a boyfriend but we broke up...
Boy: Since when?
Me: Two years ago
Boy: Why? (I could not believe I was having that conversation)
Me: Because I discovered he had another girlfriend.
Boy: Maybe he didnt like you..
Me: Yea, I guess so (Ouch!)
Boy: So how long have you been playing tennis (Thank God he changed the topic!)
Me: Since October last year. You?

Boy: Just this year.

The tennis instructor then called on him as it was time for him to resume his lessons.
End of conversation.

Whew!

I think it was one of the longest three minute conversation I've had in my life. I wasn't prepared for something like that, if that boy was a decade older I'd say he was making a pass on me. hehehe. =P

I admire his courage though, as at such a young age he has the guts men should have in talking to ladies, although if he was my age and he approached me with a conversation like that I'd definitely get turned off, asking why a girl doesn't have a boyfriend is definitely not a good pick up line, sorry. hehehe.

I've been tagged!

My ignorance on being virtually tagged led me to this entry. His majesty Prince Romp gave the honor of introducing this tagging in the blog world to me. heehee =P

So here goes mine....

Four jobs I have had in my life.

1. Children's playcenter marshal
2. Part time tutor
3. Revenue Associate
4. IT consultant

Four movies i would watch over and over again.

1. A Walk to Remember (and I will still cry over and over again)
2. Forever (A Filipino movie)
3. Lord of the Rings
4. Bruce Almighty

Four places that I have lived.

1. Singapore
2. Houston, Texas
3. Dublin, Ireland
4. Quezon City, Philippines

Four TV shows I love to watch.

1. Friends
2. Fear Factor
3. Gilmore Girls
4. Soundtrack Channel

Four places that I have been on vacation.

1. California
2. New York
3. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
4. Different beautiful places around the Philippines, but Boracay Island is the best

Four websites I visit daily.

1. My friends' blogs
2. Google.com
3. Yahoo mail
4. Blogger.com

Four places I'd rather be right now.

1. Bookstore
2. Paris
3. Starbucks
4. Riverside,California

Four friends who I tagged that I think will respond.

1. Her highest mushroomness
2. Missy blackwidow
3. Angel Len
4. Kayan

Okidoki, my part's done! (bows head)

May the tag be with you. =P

What kind of car are you?

I was blog hopping one day when I saw an entry with a link to Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

And here's the result:

I'm a Mazda RX-8!

You're sporty, yet practical, and you have a style of your own. You like to have fun, and you like to bring friends along for the ride, but when it comes time for everyday chores, you're willing to do your part.

*********
Hmm, so that's me if I'm a car I guess. =)

Anyways, this made me realize again how much I would like to have a car of my own since I started to be aware of my interest in driving (which was since I was a kid and I had this fascination on driving bump cars!). Though yes I've been driving since I was 17 but I've not been driving a car, because what we had was the family utility vehicle, a '97 Toyota Tamaraw FX
(photo not our actual vehicle but looks the same and taken from http://www.cardomain.com/ride/730702, I believe this model was exclusive for the Philippine market and is currently already obsolete as of now). It's not really fit for a little gal like me. I remember my classmate in college freshman year who, after walking me to the University parking lot and saw my "wheels", couldn't help but gasp "Foyan, you have a big car!"
Hahaha, I know.
But really, it was not big, I was just small for it. (Imagine what I would look like if I were driving a big van/truck in Texas, big there is actually reeeeeally BIG!).But in fairness it was powersteering and the seat was high enough and the rear and side mirrors were big enough so it was easier actually to drive as compared to a car where you seemed to be eaten up by the car seat if you're a petite person so it will be a challenge to see beyond the dashboard and rear end plus the side mirrors are small.

It's not that I have not tried driving a car at all and that I am not proficient in driving a car. I did learn to drive using a car from the driving school. Then in Oct 2003 we finally bought a second hand '98 Mitsubishi Lancer GLi (photo on the left is our actual car) although I only have been able to drive it for just brief moments due to I dont know how to explain it but it happened that my only bro got to use it while I got the FX.
If I stayed back home last year and did not resign from my job, by now I would be driving my own brand new car. It would have been either a Toyota VIOS or Honda City,the only cars I could afford at most. =( But well, I had to go, as I had a more important priority. It's just sad that in Singapore it is almost impossible for me to get myself a car, as it is tooooo expensive that even only a few of the local population has cars. So right now I could only wish and dream I have a car. Anyhow, you really can't have it all. Wuwuwu =,(

When language does not work as a barrier

This afternoon I was having my usual fried Kway Teow* for lunch in the mall foodcourt. As it was crowded, I was not surprised if a couple asked me if they could share the empty seats at my table. I said yes with a smile and they settled in the seats. I was not sure at first if they were Filipinos because it was noisy and I could not hear much of what language they were talking with. When the guy came back from buying food and they started to eat was the time I clearly heard they were speaking in Tagalog and so I confirmed they were Filipinos. As there were only two seats for them which they already occupied, the lady started to see where she could put her bag and I took that as a chance to offer the chair where I placed my own bag and let them know I was Filipino too. So I spoke in Tagalog and they were surprised to learn I was Filipino. The guy told me "Filipino ka pala?" (Ah, you're Filipino), I said "Opo, hindi po pala ako mukhang Pinoy?" (Yes sir. I don't look Filipino anymore?"), hoping to strike a short conversation but nothing striked at all and they proceeded to eat. Then to my surprise, they conversed now using another dialect, which was Ilocano. I felt a little offended by it because I could not help but get the impression that they didn't want me to understand what they were talking about because after learning I am Filipino they stopped talking in Tagalog and conversed in Ilocano instead. I don't think it was the proper etiquette. They didn't talk about me or anything bad so I didn't see why they had to change language thinking I wouldn't understand what they were talking about.

So how was I sure that they didn't talk about me or anything bad?

Well, incidentally, I also understand only one other dialect, and guess what, it's Ilocano. hehehe.

*(Miswa, I made a careful analysis of my Kway Teow and found out that it had also the small mussels(?) ingredient that they had like in the Kway Teow in Tanjong Pajar hawker we ate at. I therefore conclude, that all Kway Teows should have that mussel ingredient. =P )

Love in Animation

Oh my God, I'm in love!!!

I fell in love with him from the very start I met him and I fell in love with him more when I got to know him better. I had a boyfriend then, it was actually my boyfriend who introduced him to me, but my boyfriend then didn't know I fell in love with this man.

But I stopped seeing him when my life started to get busy with figuring out how to pass my major subjects in College, then I started to work after college, then my boyfriend and I broke up, I focused on my career, I had another boyfriend who turned out to be a major ego and heart breaker and then left my home country last year to focus on career again. I never thought that seeing him again would bring back the feelings I had for him like the time I was so in love with him.

I am so thankful that after one tiring day last week, as I sat there flicking on the TV remote, I saw his familiar face...

Meet the man of my dreams...the emperor Hotohori

Isn't he gorgeous? Gosh, I was just influenced by my boyfriend then to watch these Animes and I particularly got hooked in watching Fushigi Yuugi (translated in English as Curious Play).
I think it was school vacation on my college junior year that I started watching it so when school resumed I remember it was showing at around 7:30am each weekday and I could not watch at that time since I had to be on my way at this time to school to get to my 8:30am class so I asked our maid to record the episodes in VHS tape!

hahaha, yeah, I was that addicted. I envy the lead character there, her name was Miyaka, who was a student who together with her bestfriend, was absorbed and trapped in a book they found in the school library. So when they got inside the book they became part of a story and met all the characters where so much love triangle stories revolved unto. I was so much wishing then that I could be the one absorbed by the book and meet Hotohori so he wouldn't get heartbroken for having lost Miyaka to Tamahome, he could have me all for himself, hahaha.

So if I were in anime' , I wonder how I would look like? Which reminded me that my schoolmate in highschool, Abel, gave this as a birthday gift to me 10 years ago...

That's me in anime' form wearing my highschool uniform, hehehe. So cool eh? =P

How do I look? =)

I was really touched about that gift and I was indeed a fan of his drawings that aside from that drawing I asked a number more of drawings from him and up to now I still have them with me. And it's amazing that after 10 years when I had a chat with Abel on Yahoo Messenger just this week I was at last been able to know what the Japanese character beside my portrait meant. I thought it was my name but he said what was written there meant "Michiko Aino", a character inspired by me from a story he was writing then. Gosh, I was so flattered to learn that he made me a character in one of his stories, I am so honored. He was actually surprised I've kept this drawing all these years. But why wouldn't I? It's one of the best gifts to me that I will cherish forever (thank you so much, Abel ! ). ;-)

Picture these

There are two pictures that has disturbed me today and though I would like to talk about them I am not posting them here, nope nope nope, too disturbing for me, sowee. =S

The first one was a picture of an accident in Ayala Avenue in Makati City (which they said happened last Monday, March 13). A man was hit and killed by a passenger bus.

Picture this: A dead guy lying on the street, face literally flat sideways, and his brain literally popped out from his skull and laid a foot away from his head.

It was enough for me to almost barf out and lose my apetite, I had a hard time trying to convince myself to eat lunch (thanks to Omar for sending me that pic, arrrgh =/ ).

The second picture was something that I got from a discussion with Mhean and Maia, my collegues and lunch buddies. They told me about this picture that won pulitzer prize.

Picture this: A famine stricken child from Sudan who was crawling her way to a United Nations food camp and behind her was a vulture that seems to be waiting for the child to die so it could eat it.

Creepy!!!

OK, here's a link, you be the judge--> http://www.huaren.com/UnitedNations/photo-1.htm

It really disturbed me how the photographer was able to take that photo and even get credit for it. He did not at all help the poor child. Anyway, I think the photographer realized it too, as he commited suicide three months later, apparently, from depression.

But I still remember the ultimate picture, well, actually it was a video, that has disturbed me big time. It was the video footage of the killing of a Korean hostage of an Iraqi terrorist group. It showed how the hostage was beheaded using a medium sized knife slowly but sharp enough to slit through his whole neck! It was too much! Beheading using one quick slash (like if a samurai or sword is used) is already disturbing but seeing one get beheaded in a slow manner is just purely unexplainable! I could not imagine how those men could take what they were doing!!! I think for one whole day I could not take my mind off the video, it was like playing in my mind over and over again. Arrrghhh!!! =/

Gosh, I should stop here before I get permanently disturbed.

Erase, erase, erase.

How do you talk to your angel?

I love Paulo Coelho's writing. Each of his books never fail to give me this extraordinary feeling of serenity, and yet the irony to that is I feel this calm with such a great impact in different ways. I can't even explain why it seems that the timing of me reading a particular book, the book's theme coincides in some way with my life.Therefore I can't help but see his books as God's way of consoling me.

Among his books though, at this point The Valkyries would be the book which won the majority of my heart now. Having read four of Paulo Coelho's books before this, I did expect that the book would have the same serene, calming tone common to all of Mr. Coelho's writing but other than that I was not expecting it will surpass the impact that Eleven Minutes has given me.

I started reading The Valkyries on the 27th of January this year. Just from reading the title page, it has already captured my heart as promised as it was about the quest in finding your angel. I read on, without expectations. At page 40 though, I could not help my heart to jolt a little and melt with a smile as I look up, up and away. It was an extraordinary moment with my usual drink at my usual place -- fruit punch at Starbucks Raffles City. I didn't finish the book in one sitting, moreso, it even took me quite some time to read it as the succeeding days and weeks I had a lot of things going on during those times and so like my usual, I brought the book with me always in my bag wherever I went, with the intention of reading thru it bit by bit whenever I got the chance -- while taking a long bus or train ride or while waiting for a friend I was meeting up. So I read on bit by bit every now and then but it was when I was around half way thru the book that I got a long lag from reading it. It was around the second week of February that I think my fellow bookworm friend made a comment about the book. She asked me if I had finished reading it and when I said I have not, she told me to get back to her and tell her my thoughts about it after I finish reading it. It seemed like she didn't like how the book concluded.

So after then I started to have expectations on the book, I expected it would have an ending with an effect of something like that of By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept because we both agreed that we found that book's conclusion too hazy. It made me curious so that motivated me to finish reading it soon. So I continued to bring the book with me everday, wherever I went, like it was a necessity like my wallet that I could not leave behind when I went out, in the hope that I could read thru it during my free time. I wonder though why I have not devoted a time to actually put in my schedule to finish reading it at one weekend or something. Maybe because all the while my thoughts were then already in playback.

Anyway, as I've said earlier, The Valkyries was about the quest in finding and seeing your angel. Halfway thru the book, it has already mentioned that angels already talk to us thru different channels, like they manifest themselves thru other people who we encounter in our life. It says that sometimes, you have already seen and talked to your angel but you were just not aware of it because we are too absorbed into our own concept of angels that we expect to find our angel in an image of a beautiful being with white wings. But if you were given a choice, would you like to be aware that you'd be seeing your angel and talk to him if you knew who your angel was? As for me, I was undecided. The thought of seeing my angel gave me both the longing and fear, as I don't know how I should be when I get face to face with my angel in a place where people are watching your every move. I didn't know how to talk to my angel, I didn't know how to do channeling.

Today, I had an hour and a half free to spend the afternoon while waiting for an important appointment. I decided to spend it at Pacific Coffee, in The Hive at Raffles Place. I decided that I'd read the book to pass the time. As I sip my brewed coffee and flip thru the pages, after an hour and a half, I finished reading thru it, until the Epilogue and I was already impressed at that point and have concluded that I liked the book, including how it concluded. But being me, I read books from cover to cover so I read thru further until the last two pages -- the Author's note where Paulo Coelho confirmed that The Valkyries was taken from his real life encounters with finding his own angel so at 4:30pm on page 212, I have concluded that the book has surpassed all the effects of the other Paulo Coelho books I've read. I held on to it tightly as I could not believe the feeling it has brought me. I actually felt like how Paulo felt when he realized how he could see his angel, I realized my angel was with me as well.

Angels guide and protect us, even if we ignore them, they are just there watching over us, caring ang loving us in their own way. Yet sometimes we ask for more from them, we ask for a miracle just to admit to ourselves that they do exist. But really we don't have to test and wait for our angel to say I wish I could promise more before we believe because angels themselves are already heaven sent. So, need not have to wish more, as there has already been so much love given, that love itself is already the miracle we've been wanting to prove all along, manifested in friendship... and this is something that will be remembered...for lifetime.

All in a day's work - a bloody flower analogy

Morning - The intrusion

Though I was already starting to feel lazy when I got to office this morning, I did manage to push myself to continue with the new program I was doing. However, halfway to completing this change request, my mentor approached me to question my function design which eventually led us to discussing it to our manager (take note though: I have already discussed it with my manager last week). Anyway, to make the long story short, my mentor's "minimalistic" (i.e. not pro-user) approach prevailed. And though it has made technical things more simple, I still was not comfortable delivering such an incomplete thing to the user to whom I had already discussed my design considering she is one of those kind users that are easy to talk to. Now I have to go back to her and tell her something like "I'm sorry Regina but the design we have discussed has just been scrapped" in a nice way. As I have told Mhean, my friend-collegue, it is like the user requested that I make a flower and I said ok, I can make a flower but only to tell her in the end I would be delivering only a stem!

That was enough to start up my lazy mood again.

Early afternoon - The catalyst
So I just sat there in my desk, demotivated in what I was going to do next. I decided I would just start with it tomorrow. Then I got an SMS message from my only bro that really made an impact to me. For the 8 months I've been away from home to work, today was the second time I've received a message from him. He asked how I was and I was starting to get sentimental and touched but only to realize that it would just only last for some mere milliseconds as I read the next words in the message asking me for Oakley sunglasses because it's summer! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!???? It was enough to completely put my mood to gloom. I could not explain to myself anymore how I could feel good about myself.

Further into the afternoon - The bloody crime
In my desperation to calm myself and in the hope that my mood could be shifted to a relaxed one, I decided to have a cup of coffee as I have not had a coffee for the day (I had tea with milk in the morning). Sadly, I didn't know that an innocent longing would actually be the cause of a bloody crime...

The villain:

The accomplice:

The victim:

The savior:

The witness:

It was a two-inch slash on my middle finger and I dont know why in the world that the first thing that came into my mind was to take a picture of it dripping with blood before tending to it. Haha. See what a mad mind can do? Tsk tsk tsk... =S

Anyway, like a little girl I went to Mhean's desk wanting to ask for help although I was hesitant because I knew that she doesn't like to see blood. But I had no choice so I showed her my finger wrapped in blood stained tissue. She asked for the first aid kit from our manager and my manager was so kind enough to put antiseptic and plaster on my injured finger. I was really touched both with Mhean and my manager's care for me.

So what is my lesson learned from all of this?

Thou shall not try to open a can of milk just to satisfy your craving for coffee when you are absent minded.