Bad dream + Bad shoes = Bad day

It is one of those bad days when you wake up from a terrible dream, when you try to wear your pants that used to fit your waistline and see that now you havethat very ugly belly literally bulging out and it is not because you're pregnant, and as you walk going to work and your feet are killing you, you realize why you've stopped wearing the shoes you decided to wear again today. And as you sit at your office desk, you can't wait for the day to end.

Don't get me wrong. It has been very blissful, life that is.I know it is a bit unfair that I haven't been writing much about the happy times, and yet when I'm sad, here I am suddenly blabbering as much as I can.

But just that sometimes, something happens that reminds you to check if you still have some pride and check if you can still toughen up and live your own life. It is your wayof fighting off the insecurities that start to creep up on you on these vulnurable times.

And you feel really, really ugly :(

I need lots of positive energy, big time.

A Lazy Bum in Guam

I am currently in Guam, an island in the Pacific (part of the Marianas group of islands), and which is also a territory of the United States of America. I am here visiting my little sister for a week.

Here are some pics of our adventures so far:

Day 1 - none because I spent the whole day bumming at home, hehehe

Day 2 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617060656099

Day 3 & 4 - http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkayan/sets/72157617217746076

I am the real winner! :D

This really made my day! Thank you, Capt. Marvel! :D

6AM Thoughts

What could make you wide awake at 4 in the morning and be still so at 6?

A nightmare. A very terrible, terrible nightmare that you never want to happen ever but it felt so real so you get so disoriented.

And a tummyache too. I guess the lychee martini drink for ladies night wasn't as diluted as I thought after all, or maybe it was the tonic water that nailed it...

Whatever.

Blah.

***

Thank God for a sister who lives at the other side of the world who's got an opposite time zone and you could call to talk to at that moment.

The Non-Valid Thoughts

There are times when your insecurities will try to creep in, filling your mind with thoughts that you know you shouldn't have.

Then you start being irrational and unfair. You start asking questions that have no right answers, you start to question the past. You start to ask for more than what you have, when all along you already have all that you need. It makes you want to look for a ghost that isn't dead, but all the while hoping that you wouldn't find it because you wanted it to remain dead.

Then you doubt yourself. You scare yourself with what ifs and why nots. You prepare yourself for a battle with your imagination. You think that time is still not on your side. For now it is but just acceptance -- that sometimes you get a name that is not yours.

But all these shall pass, because you know yourself and because you know that no matter what, you have a good heart.

Becoming a bumble bee

In commemoration (haha, what a use of word!) of my becoming a bum soon, I am listing down the activities that would keep me busy and amused. The general aim is for me to make use of my bumming days to look and feel fabulously beautiful (mwahahaha):

1) Have a haircut
2) Go to the gym until I lose 10 kilos and become super sexy :P
3) Swim regularly
4) Play more tennis
5) Enrol in dance classes
6) Watch movies
7) Spring clean my bedroom and the whole house
8) Do grocery shopping
9) Read back log books
10) Write write write
11) Go to the library
12) Wedding planning and preparation
13) Try out new make up styles
14) Whiten my teeth :D
15) Fix my wardrobe
16) Organize my important paper documents
17) Organize my files in my computer
18) Print out and organize my parents’ travel pictures
19) Catch up with people I miss
20) Re-activate my travbuddy and facebook life
21) Write vouches for my TB friends
22) Upgrade/Update myself on my IT skills (haha, how nerdy!)
23) Learn to bake
24) Job hunt (yeah, of course! I'm not planning to bum forever! :P)
25) Pray

Good luck to me! :P

Wait! I just want to say...

That I'm not retiring Silentwaves! I'm still going to keep this blog alive.

Hummingwaves is meant to complement Silentwaves.

okiedokie? ;)