Make up milestone

A significant thing happened to me last Sunday so I thought I’d write a quick note about it:

It’s been about a couple of months or more that I’ve stopped wearing make up (the why warrants a whole entry so that’s for next time). Then on Sunday, we were going to our triple birthday celebration so I thought I’d wear a bit so I put on some eyeliner. I was expecting the usual feeling that I’d feel, that I’d feel pretty, but to my surprise, I felt like I looked better without any make up on! Wow. That made me feel good because I’ve achieved what I hoped to: to like my face on it’s natural state and bring back the standard of beauty as being without artificial make ups on.

There. :)

Opened an old email account

I opened my old email account and went back through 2008.

It brought tears in my eyes. Why?
Do I really miss those days? Do I really miss my old self?

Why would I miss uncertainties?
Why would I miss heartbreaks?
Why would I want to be in a situation where I would always be in a state of mind games?

I guess it’s the spontaneity, the excitement of being daring.

I guess it’s the thrill of my younger days, the feeling of being attracted to, of the feeling of being wooed.

Am I old now? Is mid life really like this?

Alone with the introvert

Coming back to reality,
I sit along the river side.
I want to be one with nature,
In rhythm with the swaying leaves,
In song with the chirping birds,
Flowing with the silent waves.

I wish to be unseen by my own kind.
These are the times I wish to be invisible.
Only to return when my heart desires to,
When I’m ready to grace my audience.

Hot Chocolate

Here I am in place where I usually feel relaxed.

I came here and ordered hot chocolate instead of my usual brewed dark roast coffee. Earlier when this incident happened with a coworker which caused me distress, I went to the office lunchroom to calm my nerves with coffee. But the coffee pot was empty, and I decided to not brew a new one since it was past 2 already and I don’t want to have a chance to waste coffee. It’s probably a blessing, cause coffee would have probably not calmed my nerves down.

So I headed here with hot chocolate in mind. Chocolates...happiness hormones...come calm me down please. I wish I can learn how to be calm at all times, especially when people make you feel small.

End of the month as a start

I know it’s been ages!

I’ve just read some of my old posts and oh my goodness, the warmth I feel, the magic...I really need to start writing again. So here I am typing my thumbs off on my mobile phone on my lunch break at work. It’s the end of the first month of the year 2019 and I am marking this as the beginning of (another) attempt to restore my writing self.

May fate and determination side with me this time.

Good luck to me!