For me, pride comes in two different ways: one brings conflict, the other one brings warmth to the heart.
My sister's wedding brought about both prides in me. My first pride came out from the moment she announced her plan to get married to the day she decided to give the honor of being maid of honor to her matchmaker instead of her bestfriend or sister. So this pride of mine had indeed created a lot of tension between us, I didn't want to give in, I wanted her to realize my point. I wanted her to have the pride I had. When she changed her initial plan about the wedding entourage and decided to have two maids of honor, one being me, I knew that she just wanted to make me happy. She didn't get my point and I felt even worse about myself. But of course, as I have expected, in the end I would still give in. At least I did give it a shot. What made me give in is the realization that it was not my wedding and it was not my life, if those decisions would make her happy, then I would support her. I guess perhaps I was just making it a big deal because of my own personal issues but it wasn't supposed to be about me, it should be about her. So end of pride one.
After days and almost sleepless nights of very hands-on wedding preparations, the day finally came. Up to the last minute, we were all on up on our toes and down on our knees doing everything to make my sister's wedding a realization of her dreams. I had doubts about everything but when the time came when my sister walked with my parents to the aisle in her wedding dress and all eyes were on her, I felt this other pride in me that made tears well up in my eyes (and to many others as well including her groom). As I have said earlier, this type of pride brings warmth to the heart. I felt proud of my sister, for having gone through all the things she's been through to make her wedding the best for her and her groom, I felt proud that my parents were there to walk her down the aisle, I felt proud that the relationship I have doubted has survived the challenges and critiques and had come to the next level to become another proof of true love.
So now I discovered how it felt to be the sister of the bride. If seeing a person so close to my heart walk down the aisle made that big effect on me, I could imagine how I might feel to be the one walking down that aisle wearing my wedding dress...I think I would definitely need a very good water proof make up. hehehe. =P
My sister's wedding brought about both prides in me. My first pride came out from the moment she announced her plan to get married to the day she decided to give the honor of being maid of honor to her matchmaker instead of her bestfriend or sister. So this pride of mine had indeed created a lot of tension between us, I didn't want to give in, I wanted her to realize my point. I wanted her to have the pride I had. When she changed her initial plan about the wedding entourage and decided to have two maids of honor, one being me, I knew that she just wanted to make me happy. She didn't get my point and I felt even worse about myself. But of course, as I have expected, in the end I would still give in. At least I did give it a shot. What made me give in is the realization that it was not my wedding and it was not my life, if those decisions would make her happy, then I would support her. I guess perhaps I was just making it a big deal because of my own personal issues but it wasn't supposed to be about me, it should be about her. So end of pride one.
After days and almost sleepless nights of very hands-on wedding preparations, the day finally came. Up to the last minute, we were all on up on our toes and down on our knees doing everything to make my sister's wedding a realization of her dreams. I had doubts about everything but when the time came when my sister walked with my parents to the aisle in her wedding dress and all eyes were on her, I felt this other pride in me that made tears well up in my eyes (and to many others as well including her groom). As I have said earlier, this type of pride brings warmth to the heart. I felt proud of my sister, for having gone through all the things she's been through to make her wedding the best for her and her groom, I felt proud that my parents were there to walk her down the aisle, I felt proud that the relationship I have doubted has survived the challenges and critiques and had come to the next level to become another proof of true love.
So now I discovered how it felt to be the sister of the bride. If seeing a person so close to my heart walk down the aisle made that big effect on me, I could imagine how I might feel to be the one walking down that aisle wearing my wedding dress...I think I would definitely need a very good water proof make up. hehehe. =P
Miyan & Chris
Marriott Hotel
Riverside, California
12 Aug 2006
~Photocredits to my cousin Kuya Odel coupled with my cropping expertise. =P
3 comments:
The difference in feeling is the difference between selfishness and selflessness.
Expectations play a big role in our interactions with other people.
I know when I got married my mother was pressuring me to include my brother and sister more in the event (I had no best man and Sofia had no bridesmaid - everything was done on the cheap, we were poor).
I remember when we baptized the children, again my mother tried to aplpy pressure to include my brother and sister, but I felt it was important for us to expand our social circle (since we are a very small family in Canada - worldwide to, but that is another story).
I am sorry you felt slighted by your sister, but you have to remember that it is your sister's life and wedding. Let her live it the way she wants - not the way you want.
On the other hand, having expectations and hopes and dreams are good, but we have to ensure that we are not being selfish in having them.
That warmth you felt when she married, that was good. I can assure you it is much better when you marry (someone who is true and faithful and a good person). It is even better when you have you own child. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I was when Tania was born (try reflecting on the story of creation in the first chapter of Genesis when God say "and He saw that what He had made was good." that is how I felt.
Take care.
Hi, thanks for stopping by my blog - will catch up on your post right away!!
foyan!!
you are at riverside!! drop by UC riverside and look for my former student patrick alcedo at the department of comparative literature where he is teaching and going research. he got a 2007 rockefeller grant at the smithsonian.
re: "pride" --we all have heaps of them. somehow the sibling tensions wind down when everybody gets older. usually, that is. you've got a big bright future ahead of you. celebrate your blessings.
cheers,
w.
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