It was one lazy day and they sat on the sofa. It's just been only two months since they've last seen each other.
Words came out with subtlety, it was obvious that she was trying to hold back her feelings. She was trying to casually talk about how she was having a hard time taking care of her two boys. She was saying it like it was the usual nonchalant matters about men. But she was not able to sustain it, her tears betrayed her as she said those words: "I had nobody to talk to."
She looked her and she wished she could just naturally give her a hug for support. But they have not been raised up to be affectionate with them eversince. Embrace is equivalent to awkwardness. So she froze and could only look at her. Words from her childhood echoed in her mind: "As soon as you finish school and have a job, by all means, you can freely leave this house..", words said in anger and frustration, words said with conviction. A little voice from her childhood whispered to her mind to remind her those words, because as she grew up, she was convinced that she meant every single one of those words. But looking at her sad eyes and the lines of tiredness on her face, she knew that bringing up the past is no longer necessary, and that she didn't need her to say she's sorry out loud. The blood flowing in their veins have their own language to say unspoken words. She needed her help, and in her mind she got up and gave her that hug she never had.
Words came out with subtlety, it was obvious that she was trying to hold back her feelings. She was trying to casually talk about how she was having a hard time taking care of her two boys. She was saying it like it was the usual nonchalant matters about men. But she was not able to sustain it, her tears betrayed her as she said those words: "I had nobody to talk to."
She looked her and she wished she could just naturally give her a hug for support. But they have not been raised up to be affectionate with them eversince. Embrace is equivalent to awkwardness. So she froze and could only look at her. Words from her childhood echoed in her mind: "As soon as you finish school and have a job, by all means, you can freely leave this house..", words said in anger and frustration, words said with conviction. A little voice from her childhood whispered to her mind to remind her those words, because as she grew up, she was convinced that she meant every single one of those words. But looking at her sad eyes and the lines of tiredness on her face, she knew that bringing up the past is no longer necessary, and that she didn't need her to say she's sorry out loud. The blood flowing in their veins have their own language to say unspoken words. She needed her help, and in her mind she got up and gave her that hug she never had.
2 comments:
What always amazes me is how many lonely and isolated people there are in this world. Everybody thinks they are the only ones with a problem and don't realize that many people around them are suffering in silence too.
I wish we could let go of the masks we wear when we face the world.
richard: it's all about choice. we wake up to mornings w/ a choice if we want to wear a mask or not.
coffee fairy: is this what i think it is? Anyway, please let "She" know that i'm here if "she" needs someone to talk to, i'm sure you and "she" know what i mean :).
by the way, i'm back home :) it would have been nice if you had a taste of the Kenya coffee :) brought some with me hehe.
*hugz*
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