Meet Bogart

He is our house bear. He sits by a chair in the living room beside the window.

I first met him the first time I came to the flat I live in now. After the previous tenants left Singapore, they gave everything to my then housemate including him. When I moved in to the flat I decided to name him Bogart. When my then housemate moved out, he said he'd be back one day to take Bogart and the rest of his stuff he left in the storage room.

Bogart knows all our guests because I introduce him to all our visitors. So everyone who has visited our flat should know Bogart. He knows everything that's happening in our flat.

There was this one time when the window was left open and it rained so hard during the day. When I came home from work I was so devastated to see Bogart all wet and so was almost half of the living room floor flooded! I felt so sad that it had to happen to Bogart, imagine helplessly getting all soaked and cold...

It's been almost a year now that I have been living with Bogart and he has always been a competent house bear. I have changed housemates but Bogart remained loyally with me. He patiently watch over our flat whenever me and my housemates are not home. He knows me quite well -- he has seen me eat in front of the TV, laugh by myself, write in my blog and cry by myself. I have grown so fond of Bogart that for some time I have been worrying about how I would feel so sad when the time comes when my previous housemate would take him back. But thankfully enough, when I asked my previous housemate recently if I could keep Bogart, he agreed. So Bogart will stay with me for as long as he wants. :)

This weekend though, he would be alone in our flat because this morning my housemates went home to the Philippines and then tomorrow I will go home as well. I hope Bogart would not be so lonely, because I understand how being alone could be so depressing. But then again, Bogart is always smiling, and perhaps it's because he knows that everytime I go away, I am coming back.

I hope this wears off the soonest

There are so many things in my mind right now.

I usually do a lot of thinking sitting down and staring into nothingness and yet for me, is the most tiring thing I do.

It didn't help that I could not connect to the remote machine I use to access our databases. In short, I could not do my work and that left me with more time to continue pondering what to do. What a great timing (sigh).

I could not even look forward to lunch break, because there's nothing to look forward to, as it is another thing to think about -- what and where would I eat this time? It doesn't make a difference because I'd be eating alone anyway. For the past weeks, especially the past few days, I have been losing my appetite for lunch. I don't feel like eating at all.

But yeah, I needed to eat to continue breathing and oh yes, thinking. So I decided to have lunch in Orchard Road, which is a kilometer stretch of road lined up with malls on both sides. It was 10 minutes away from the business district where I work. I chose to go there as I felt it would take my mind off from the things I think about. At least I had some destination and I knew I was going somewhere and I already knew what to order for lunch.

But now that lunch break is over, I am back at my desk again staring into nothingness.

I should not have made those phone calls last night. I should have kept my mouth shut. But why do I have to blame everything on myself?

Now not only have I shut my mouth, I am not smiling anymore.

Miss congeniality is tired of understanding the world.

P.S.
I need that blackhole. Can somebody tell me how to get to the other dimension please?

Tattoed arm

I got a tattoo on my left upper arm from our company party (which was superb and one of the best company parties I have attended) last Saturday. It was of a pattern of flowers.

But before you gasp in surprise at my decision to get a tattoo at such an indiscreet part of my body, I have to save you from wondering how I did it -- so I have to let you know first that it's just henna tattoo, hehehe.

Ok, just henna tattoo.

I don't like needles and I have no plans of getting a permanent tattoo.

The pretty and sweet Indian lady who was doing the henna tattoo said it will last for only two or three days but I knew it wouldn't because my sisters and brother had henna tattoos when we went to the beautiful Boracay beach a few years ago (it was a popular thing in the beach). But I still had my arm done and so were some of my lady colleagues and last Monday we all saw each other's arms and hands and we couldn't help but say to each other how we thought our tattoos would come off within the weekend but found out it didn't so we had to live with it for a few more days.

This is the first time I have had a tattoo and it was quite exciting for me because I have been wondering how it would look like if I had a tattoo, moreso, have it on my arm. It looked fine to me but I know it is something I would not like to have permanently as it is not me. It was weird to see myself dressed up in my girl next door clothes then see my tattooed arm. But the experience was nice, my tattoo is like my expression of my "bad girl" side, I mean my not so sweet side, the liberated and the naughty side of coffee fairy...But just like my tattoo, it would just be temporary and will get erased eventually although you know it was there before but you didn't want to keep it.

Some things are not meant to stay. Sometimes you wish it could actually go away instantly but sometimes, it has to fade away thru time, slowly for healing without scars.