Would I like to be little miss grouchy?

Remember the little lady well dressed up in her brown blouse and beige pants with matching beige high heeled shoes emerging from the train station tunnel to have a view of her new work place?

Yup, that was exactly one year ago. Today marks my first anniversary at that company.

It has been a fast one year at work. It has been a sometimes train and sometimes roller coaster ride. When I am asked if my work is hard, I actually don't know how to answer it, because I don't know how I can actually explain my status. It is not like a walk in the park as it seem to be. It can be a crazy run around a rocky road as well just like now when due to a sudden organizational restructuring, I have become my own general and army in facing the battles ahead. I have been doing my best in coping up with the challenges of my work. My approach was to see each challenge as an opportunity to learn, further yet, I try to see the humourous side of it. Most of the time it works, just that there are times when I just dont see it as funny anymore, especially when it coincides with the not so funny personal aspects of my life as well. Like yesterday, when I was almost at the brink of deciding that the little miss congeniality turned supergirl will now become little miss grouchy that I was so tempted of actually wearing "the attitude". Yes, the attitude that says "I dont care and I will be unreceptive just like them" attitude, back to back with the "I don't care and I am just tired from the bad side of people" attitude. But while I was reading entries from my Our Daily Bread booklet I was struck with one entry about maintaining character by David McCasland where he quotedJ.B.Philips' translation of Romans 12:1-21:

"Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remold your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all His demands, and moves toward the goal of true maturity."

Wow. It was enough to make me realize that I should not give up being miss congeniality. I would rather be the recipient of grouchfulness than be the source. I would like to spread the joy and not the misery so if I would submit and clam up because of the bad forces in this world who tries to make me to, then I will become an instrument of sadness, the same sadness that tries to turn my heart into stone and I know how terrible that could be. So I won't, I won't give up. Let's not give up making the world a better place to live in.

We just need some recharging... ;-)